Everything to Lose
by Darveymylove
Summary: Donna and Harvey are on top of the world, Managing Partner and COO, NYC power couple. But your past always catches up to you in the end. What secrets has Donna been keeping for all these years? Can she protect herself from her past? Now that they have each other, they have everything to lose. #Darvey
1. chapter 1

This story takes place in an ideal setting where Harvey and Donna are an official couple, and Mike and Rachel never left.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1.

Harvey woke to the low crackle of his record player, the muffled sound of his father's smooth music traveling through the spacious apartment. He opened his eyes slowly adjusting to the light, as warm glowing sunlight streamed through the large glass panelling that surrounded him. He stretched his arms out wards with a yawn, his hand automatically landing on the empty space in the bed beside him. He couldn't hide his disappointment that she wasn't there beside him, although his frown soon disappeared as the distinct smell of coffee and vanilla wafted through the air, pulling him from the array of sheets as he made his way, bare footed, towards the living area.

His mouth creased in a smile as he heard her voice growing more clear, she hummed effortlessly along with the music, her favourite record. He leaned against the threshold of the large bedroom door, giving him a clear view of the kitchen, a clear view of her.

Donna's hips swayed lazily to the murmur of the music, causing the white shirt she wore, his shirt, to move up and down around her legs teasingly. Her disheveled locks of golden red cascaded down her back, like dancing flames of a fire, the absence of make up gave him a clear view of very constellation of freckles sprinkled across her face and body, her porcelain complexion seemed to glow in the morning sunlight. His breath caught in his throat, suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of contentment to powerful to put into words.

This was his favourite version of Donna. No finery, no make up, no diamonds, no heels. Just her, as she was, simple beauty.

He smiled when she looked up, finally noticing his presence, "Good morning Gorgeous." He whispered, noting the way her eyes shone at the passing complement.

"Good morning Handsome." She replied with a grin, before returning her attention back to the task at hand, stirring the two mugs of coffee on the counter top.

He moved towards her, rounding the island and placing his warm hands on her hips. He noticed the way her cheeks rose in a smile as he leaned down from behind, placing a soft kiss on jaw.

"You should wear that shirt more often, it looks better on you then it does on me." He breathed into her ear, sweeping some stray strands of golden hair aside as he went.

She giggled, a lighthearted, carefree sound that echoed throughout the apartment, "I beg to differ." She answered with a wink, handing him his freshly brewed mug.

So much had changed in the short year they had been together. They had kept their relationship a secret at work, with the exception of Mike, Rachel and eventually Louis. However after a couple of months, and after Donna moved in with him, it became more open, they arrived everyday together, his hand either grasped in hers or placed lovingly on the small of her back. They gave each other quick affectionate pecks on the cheek or lips in passing, and of course, their evening rendezvous in one another's office, which usually consisted of the two wrapped up in each other's arms, as they worked their way through a mountain of paper work.

It was as if their newfound relationship had had a positive knock on effect on every other aspect of their lives. The firm had never seen better days, Specter Litt had returned to its rightful place as the top law firm in the state. Although it was no secret that Donna and Harvey had always made a great team, their synchronicity had somehow increased as a result of their romance, making them the driving force behind the success of the firm.

So much so, that they had recently been asked to interview for a segment in 'The New York Times", which highlighted the state's top well-known power couples. They had been some what surprised and incredibly flattered to receive the request, but however much they tried to hide their excitement from each other, they just couldn't help but revel in the rewards of their success.

"Look," Donna said, failing to disguise the excitement in her voice, she reached across the counter, grabbing the open news paper, "Meet New York City's alpha pair, ranking in at the top of our list, this dynamic duo are seemingly unstoppable, they've over come every obstacle in the book, proving that, contrary to popular opinion, you really can have it all, if you do it together."

He beamed down at her as she read, "I wonder who that could be." He teased, moving around to stand beside her, giving him a better view of the article, admiring the picture that was attached along with the print.

"Yeah I wonder," she said jokingly, standing up on the tips of her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, "they sound like MrMrs Incredible."

Perfection. That was the only way he could begin to describe the current state of his life. Never had everything seemed so inexplicably amazing. And it was all down to her.

As they made their way to through the lobby of the firm, receiving smiles and congratulations from passers-by who had clearly read the article, it seemed to both as though everything was finally falling into place, after years of drama and suffering, they could finally be happy.

So you can imagine Harvey's dismay when, within half an hour of arriving at his desk, he had received numerous phone calls from each of his top clients, complaining of outrageous impending lawsuits.

He slammed the phone down on the receiver for the umpteenth time that morning, a frustrated sigh falling from his lips.

"Looks like I'll be out all day." He grumbled.

"Oh," came Donna's voice through the intercom, which she'd had installed in both their offices, "Anything I can help with?"

"No it's ok," he said smiling softly to himself at the mere sound of her voice, "I can handle it, you've got enough on your plate watching over the associates with Louis in Boston until next week."

"Okay," she replied, "love you."

His mood lifted dramatically at her response,"Love you too."

Harvey stood stiffly in the elevator as it climbed its way to the fiftieth floor at seven pm that evening. He was deflated to say the least. Five of his top clients were being sued, on the basis of what appeared to be, for the most part, fabricated accusations. The day had quickly taken a turn for the worse yet again when, while waiting at a food stall after a client meeting, he had been ambushed by a gaggle of journalists, all firing questions at him about the impending lawsuits and whether he thought this would taint his new reputation.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, giving off the familiar alert indicating a new email. He rolled his eyes as he removed the device from the inside of his suit jacket, glancing down at the screen. He frowned as he read the notification, 'Blocked address'. Harvey opened the email, his curiosity peeked as he clicked the icon:

Dear Mr Specter,

I hope you enjoyed your day of misfortune, and I'm sure you've spent the majority of it cursing your luck, however it is not chance you have to blame for clients' affliction, but me.

Your days at the top are numbered, and I regret to inform you that this is just the beginning.

A word of warning; Your firm has already taken a hit, the next blow will be a lot more personal.

Oh, congratulations on being named Power Couple of the Year, you and Red have never looked better.

Harvey stared at his phone in disbelief.

A threat?

A million thoughts raced through his mind, who sent this? Why? What does this mean?

The elevator pinged signalling his arrival on the fiftieth floor, almost as if a switch had been flicked within him, Harvey launched into action. Luckily, he ran straight into Mike.

"Hey Harvey, how did it go-"

"Mike I need your help, is Benjamin still here?" Harvey asked urgently.

"Yeah I thinks so- but Harvey I'm just on my way out Rachel and I-"

"Mike, whatever it is it'll have to wait, this is important." Harvey interrupted.

Mike's face creased with confusion, before softening, giving Harvey a nod, "Okay then let's go find Benjamin." He'd learned years ago that when Harvey said it was important, then nothing else could matter, "but you better have a damn good excuse."

"Okay, what?" Mike asked in disbelief as they approached Benjamin's office, "someone's threatening you? Who does this guy think he is Michael Corleone?"

"I know, it sounds insane but-" as much as he hated to admit it, paranoia was starting to eat him up, "I'm not taking any chances, whoever they are they said they were gonna start getting personal… and I'm just worried-"

"That whoever it is they'll try and hurt somebody?" Asked Mike, finishing the sentence as Harvey's voice trailed off.

"I know it's unlikely, but again, I'm not taking any chances."

Benjamin looked up from his computer as both men knocked before entering his office, "Michael, Harvey, do you need something?" He asked, in his usual abrupt but polite manner.

"Harvey's been sent a strange email from a blocked address, do you think you could trace it?" Mike asked, gesturing to Harvey.

"Yeah, should be easy enough." He said reaching out a hand for Harvey's iPhone.

"Thanks Benjamin," said Harvey, handing him the unlocked device,"oh, and can you guys do me a favour and not mention this to Donna yet?" He added.

"Why?" They asked in unison, both more than a little daunted at the prospect of lying to All-Knowing Donna Paulsen.

"It's just – who ever it is, they mentioned her in the email and I just don't want her to worry, especially if it turns out to be nothing." He replied, scratching the back of his neck with guilt at the thought of hiding something from her. Both men nodded, "Leave it with me, shouldn't take more then fifteen, twenty minutes tops," said Benjamin, Plugging the phone into his laptop, "I'll come by your office when I'm finished."

As Harvey and Mike made their way down the corridor towards the Managing Partner's office, they were surprised to meet a rather flustered looking Donna, rushing out of her own office.

"Donna?" Mike called, catching her attention.

"Is everything okay?" Asked Harvey his voice laced with concern, as he grabbed her hand.

"We have a problem." She said solemnly.

"What is it?" They answered in unison.

"I think somebody's trying to poach our associates."

All three sat on the leather sofa of Harvey's office, a glass of scotch in their hands as Donna explained the dilemma.

"Three of our best associates handed in notice this evening," she sighed, "I haven't looked into it properly yet but I don't know, something just didn't seem right, all three were acting really suspicious."

Harvey shut his eyes in frustration, shit, this day really couldn't get any worse, the warm, happy atmosphere of their apartment that morning was beginning to feel more and more like a distant memory. And to make matters worse, if Donna's suspicions were correct, which they always are, that only strengthens his fear that the email he'd received earlier was no empty threat.

"So let me get this straight," said Mike, his expression growing gradually more strained, "in the space of a day, Harvey's top clients get targeted with bullshit lawsuits, our associates are mysteriously handing in their notice and Harvey receives a threa-" he stopped short, catching Harvey's eye and suddenly remembering his earlier promise.

"Harvey received a what?" Questioned Donna, looking frantically between the two lawyers.

Harvey mentally cursed Mike, "Nothing I-"

Just then Benjamin walked in, carrying his open laptop and Harvey's phone, his eyes focused on the screen, "I tried everything," he said, sounding exasperated, "but I can't seem to – Oh, Donna I-" Benjamin looked alarmed, glancing from Mike to Harvey for help.

"Why does Benjamin have your phone?" Donna asked, glaring at Harvey, "what are you not telling me?"

"It's not a big deal it's just-"

"Harvey" she said, in the tone of voice that told him he'd already lost.

He sighed, "Okay."

Harvey, Mike and Benjamin explained the current situation, showing Donna the email Harvey had received less then an hour ago. Her eyes narrowed as she read the contents, but other then that, Harvey was surprised by how seemingly unfazed she was by the threat, and more pressingly, the mention of her.

"So what now?" Asked Donna, once she had been brought up to speed.

"Unfortunately, I can't trace the address, I've tried everything, but every time I just meet a dead end," sighed Benjamin, clearly disappointed in himself, "whoever this is, they haven't left a single trace."

Donna, Harvey and Mike, made the reluctant decision to pull an all-nighter, in the hopes of gathering as much information as they could on potential suspects. However, four and half hours, six cups of coffee and numerous boxes of Thai food later, and they seemed to have hit a wall.

"Let's run through what we know once more."said Harvey, it was approaching midnight, the firm was deserted, save for the three. Harvey sat perched on the side of his desk, his suit jacket and tie removed, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Mike's attire resembled Harvey's, he was sitting on the large window sill in the far corner of the office, his head leaning back against the glass.

Donna was lying flat on her stomach, stretched out on the leather sofa, her stilettos kicked off, her chin resting on her hand as she read through some files.

"So far, we know that each impending lawsuit on your clients is being handled by a different firm, we're still trying to figure out what could link them." Donna replied, trying to disguise her exasperation.

"It's possible the associates are using the same loop hole that Katrina did to get around their non-compete, if so, there's a very good chance more of the associates will jump ship." Mike sighed.

"I still can't understand why they'd want to leave Specter Litt?" Questioned Donna, "we're at the top of our game, this is the best law firm in the city."

"They clearly got a good offer." Replied Mike, sounding just as frustrated as Donna, "that's all we've got so far Harvey."

"So nothing." Harvey grumbled, "nearly five hours and we've got nothing."

Donna sat up, giving him a sympathetic look, "we'll find something," she soothed, slipping on her heels and gliding over to him, "its us, we always pull through these things in the end." She smiled, placing a manicured hand on his shoulder, he immediately felt himself relax at her reassurance.

"She's right," chimed Mike, smiling at his friends, "nothing gets past The Dream Team."

"I'm gonna go grab a couple more folders from the file room," said Donna, "why don't you two make a list of all the possible suspects who could be behind this, any of our past enemies from over the years."

"God knows there's enough of them." Laughed Mike.

"Good idea." said Harvey giving her a kiss on the cheek, before she turned on her heel, strutting off in the direction of the file room.

Mike and Harvey threw around ideas for who this mysterious revenge seeker could be, Malik, Hardman, possibly one of the original named partners; Gordon, Schmidt or Van Dyke? None seemed plausible.

"What about Tanner?" Harvey wondering aloud, although this Evil villain approach didn't feel much like Tanner's style, he generally preferred to be more direct, a slap in the face rather than a knife in the back.

"Couldn't be," said Mike, shaking his head, "I heard he moved to London temporarily, as far as I know he's not back until the New Year."

Harvey nodded, scratching his jaw, the wheels of his brain turning as he analysed all options. Nothing seemed to fit, every move made was calculated and executed carefully, whoever it is, they must be well connected.

"I'm gonna go make us some more coffee." Offered Mike, sliding off the window ledge, "I'll be back in two minutes."

Mike yawned as he opened the cupboards of the associate's kitchen, removing the necessary ingredients for a fresh brew. The coffee machine hissed and whistled as the glorious brown liquid swirled into the mug, the smell of caffeine alone was enough to revitalise his senses. He reached up for another mug, when suddenly, an alarmed shout pierced the silence of the firm, followed by an enormous clatter and the unmistakable slamming of a door.

Mike sprinted in the direction of the commotion, he had a hunch it had come from the file room, so he sped through the bullpen, and headed for the main door of the file room. Catching his breath, he gripped the handle, swinging the door open and stepping just inside.

"Donna are you okay-"

Mike gasped, stopping dead in his tracks. Momentarily stunned by the scene before him.

"Oh my god."

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! Any thoughts or constructive criticisms are welcomed!


	2. Chapter 2: Accident

Chapter 2: Accident

"Oh my God."

Time stood still. Mike could almost here his heart thumping aggressively in his chest. His skin turned cold, goosebumps prickly his bare forearms. All the air was seemingly sucked from the room, as he looked on at the scene in front of him.

One of the heavy, metal shelving units had tipped over, not fully however, caught half way to the ground by the neighbouring unit, all the wooden boxes and bundles of countless folders had empty in a large pile below.

And Donna.

Donna, was almost completely buried beneath the heap, her fore head had collided with the second shelving unit, small trickles of red ran down her face, contrasting dramatically with her pale skin, her eyes were closed, her lips parted. Her hand peeked out from under the mess of files, the rest of her body was hidden beneath the never ending pile.

Mike snapped into action, "Harvey!" He yelled at the top of his voice, launching forward and frantically throwing files and boxes across the room, trying to recover Donna from the heap that trapped her, "Harvey, help!"

It was less then thirty seconds later that he felt Harvey's presence behind him, "Quickly," Mike gasped, "help me."

Harvey launched forward, working his way through the piles of folders at ten times the speed of Mike, "Call an ambulance." He growled, his breathing was heavy, his distress apparent, as the rest of Donna's body started to become visible from beneath the mess.

Mike dialled 911 on his phone with shaky hands, trying his best not to let the shock overwhelm him. He gave the receiver the necessary information and was assured that paramedics would be on the scene in less then five minutes, giving him some peace of mind.

Harvey continued digging his way through the heavy pile with reckless abandon, he needed to help her, to make sure that she was ok, what if she wasn't? He shook the thought from his mind, focusing on recovering her from the endless stacks of boxes and folders, until Donna's body began to become visible, her limp form splayed out helplessly on the ground.

"Mike help-" Harvey gasped, bringing Mike's attention back to the dilemma at hand. He looked around, the bottom of Donna's legs were trapped painfully beneath the metal shelving unit, causing both Mike and Harvey's heart to skip a beat in worry and desperation.

"We need to lift it off-" Mike began, but was cut off by the the arrival of the paramedics, who burst through the door, taking little time to survey the situation before launching straight to work.

They asked Harvey and Mike to stand back while they worked, much to the dismay of Harvey, who was desperate to make sure Donna was okay. His eyes never left her face, watching carefully for any sign of life. Praying to anyone who would listen that she was okay. All he could do was stand by and watch on as two men carefully lifted the shelving while a third check Donna's pulse.

As the men lifted the unit, releasing her legs, Harvey heard Donna give a small whimper of pain. He lurched forward, shaking Mike's grip from his arm as he bent down close to her pale face, "Donna-?" He whispered, gently sweeping a lock of hair from her face, "can you hear me?" He asked, not bothering to disguise the waver in his voice, as he felt fear rising in his throat.

"We need to move her," exclaimed one of the paramedics, "this doesn't look too serious, but she needs to be checked over at the hospital."

"She's okay?" Asked Harvey and Mike in unison.

The paramedic, whose name was Jack, nodded, before assisting his colleagues in placing Donna on the gurney.

The ride to the hospital passed in a blur, Mike had called Rachel to let her know what had happened, but Harvey sat in silence, his mind fixed on the memory of Donna's unmoving form on the carpet of the file room. His chest constricted at the thought, wondering how it might have happened, imagining how scared she must have felt, his stomach turned at the thought of her lying there, alone and in pain.

But the timing of this accident was what frightened him most. Accident? He repeated the word in his head. Was it an accident at all? His mind raced with possible scenarios that might have led to the nightmarish scene he had arrived on, but his thoughts always went back to the threatening words he had read earlier that day, "…the next blow will be a lot more personal… you and Red…"

XXX

They arrived at Mount Sinai Hospital and Donna was taken away from him to be examined. Harvey sat reluctantly in the waiting room with Mike, swirling the weak hospital coffee around the Styrofoam cup, every minute felt like an hour as they waited for news on Donna.

Why did something like this have to happen? Less than twenty four hours ago, Harvey would have confidently said that he was the happiest man in the world, Donna filled his world with light. Ever since they'd finally taken the plunge things had been going perfectly. Never a dull moment, never a problem that together they couldn't solve, never a day so bad that it couldn't be remedied by his arms around her waist, her lips on his skin. So how was it possible, that a years worth of pure bliss had been dissolved in the space of a day?

He suddenly recalled something Jessica had once told him, when he was a young associate starting off at the firm, "the more you have, the more you have to lose." Her voice rang in his ears as he finally saw the truth in her words, Donna was everything to him, and now that he had her, he also had Everything to lose.

"Mr Specter?" Harvey awoke from his thoughts at the sound of his name, a Doctor had approached him, she was middle aged and short, with greying blonde hair, she gave him a sympathetic smile and introduced herself, "I'm Doctor Lind, I'm told you're here for Ms Paulsen?"

"Yes," Harvey replied, "what's going on? Is she okay?" He asked urgently, searching the doctor's face for any tells that might give him the answers he longed for.

"Yes, she's fine."

Harvey breathed a sigh of relief, "so can we see her?"

"I don't see why not," she replied, gesturing to Harvey and Mike that they should follow her, "I'd just like to give you a run down of her injuries on the way."

Harvey gulped and nodded.

"We took some x-rays, and thankfully, nothing's broken, she did however sprain her wrist, and much of her body is heavily bruised from the impact of the boxes that fell on top of her." She paused while Mike and Harvey nodded, "she has a bad gash on both of her ankles which were trapped beneath the shelving unit I'm told. As well as that, she took a bad hit to her head when she fell, which we think may have given her a grade 3 concussion, which is pretty severe. She's still unconscious, we'll be able to get a better sense for the extent of some of her injuries once she wakes, which should be soon."

They arrived outside of Donna's private room, "I'll leave you too it then, hit the call button if she shows any signs of waking." And with that she left the two men alone on the hospital corridor.

Harvey took a breath, before quietly turning the handle and opening the heavy door, revealing the brightly lit room on the other side. They stepped inside, their eyes landing on Donna, fast asleep in the hospital bed.

She looked worn out, her face nearly as pale as the white hospital gown, which revealed the damage done to the rest of her body, dark bruises were beginning to form on both of her arms, her left wrist was wrapped carefully in a bandage. The top right of her forehead was also bruised and red, the worst of the wound covered by a taped on cotton pad.

He felt his heart beat in time with the beeping of her heart monitor as he cautiously approached her, settling in an uncomfortable chair at the head of her bed. Gently, he placed a large hand over her smaller dainty one, feeling the smooth softness of her skin. He felt tears prickling in his eyes as the days events began to overwhelm him, flashing before his eyes in snippets. He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory of her, hurt and alone on the floor, feeling an irrational sense of guilt that seemed to consume him. He let a strained but quiet cry fall from his lips as he rested his forehead on the hand he held, letting the remainder of his tears fall silently, comforted by the sound of her breathing and the slow rise and fall of her chest.

"It's not your fault Harvey." Mike said quietly, reading his best friend's mind.

"But what if it is?" Harvey replied, never taking his eyes off Donna, "what if this wasn't an accident, what if it was-"

"We don't know that yet." Mike reasoned, "accidents happen."

Harvey shook his head, and was about to argue, when suddenly, Donna gave a small whine and shifted slightly in the hospital bed.

Harvey's eyes widened, "Donna?" He asked, squeezing her hand lightly, "can you hear me?"

But she continued to squirm, strangled breaths escaping her, as her face grew more strained, her whimpers more distressed.

"I'm gonna call the doctor." Mike said, quickly exiting the room.

Harvey raised his hand to her face, gently stroking her cheek, "shush, shush," he soothed, "hey, it's okay, you're okay."

Donna's eyes fluttered open, she gripped his hand, holding on as if for dear life as she gasped. Her eyes darted around the room, until they landed on Harvey, her face creased in confusion, "Harvey? Where am I? What's going on?" She asked, her voice wavering slightly.

"You – you don't remember?" He questioned, sitting forward in his chair slightly.

"Remember what?" She asked, clearly distressed, "what the hell happened?"

Just then, Mike returned with Doctor Lind, both gave Donna a small smile as they entered the room.

"Ms Paulsen," said the doctor warmly, approaching her bed, "how are you feeling?"

"I-" Donna stammered, her eyes were welling with tears, "what's going on?"

"She can't remember anything." Harvey whispered, just loud enough that Mike and Doctor Lind could hear him.

The doctor nodded, and calmly sat down on the edge of the bed, next to Donna, "Ms Paulsen- Donna, is it?" Donna nodded hesitantly, "do you think you could run me through everything that you can remember today, since this morning?"

Donna gulped, and slowly, began recanting the events of the day, stopping short when she reached the later hours of the night, "I- I remember walking to the file room, but after that everything's blurry." She glanced at Harvey, worry etched on her face, he gave her a reassuring smile, trying his best to disguise his own inner fear.

"We found you in the file room," Mike explained, "one of the shelving units got knocked over some how, you must have fallen, you hit your head and were stuck under the piles of folders and boxes, your legs got caught under the unit."

Donna nodded slowly, but her eyes still appeared distant, "I really can't remember." She whispered her voice cracking slightly.

"It's nothing to be worried about," Doctor Lind assured her, "you have a concussion, and often short term memory loss is linked to head trauma, you should get the memories back in a few days, possibly a week."

Donna relaxed a little, reassured by the knowledge that this amnesia wasn't permanent. She tried to sit up slightly in her bed, but hissed in pain at the effort, every bone in her body ached, and her head began to spin at the movement.

"Take it easy," Harvey said, rubbing his thumb in small comforting circles over her hand, "where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere." She breathed, closing her eyes and allowing the pain to pass.

"Here," Doctor Lind reached into her pocket, revealing a small container of pills, "take one of these every couple of hours, it's not too strong but it should help with the pain."

Donna took the pill gladly, accepting a glass of water from Mike and letting the cool liquid sooth her dry mouth and lips.

"I think it's safe to discharge you tonight," said the doctor, "as long as you get plenty of rest at home and take your medication."

Donna nodded eagerly, longing for the safety and comfort of her own bed, well, her and Harvey's bed. She wanted nothing more than to lie wrapped up in his arms, he was the only comfort she needed, as long as she had Harvey, everything would be okay.

"There's just a couple of things I want to ask before I discharge you, this may even help jog your memory." Said the Doctor.

"Okay." Replied Donna, intrigued.

"I was reviewing my notes from your examination along with the x rays we took, the extent of the bruising is to your back and the backs of your legs, however, I noticed unusual bruising patterns around your waist and wrists, as well as some trauma to the back of your head,"she paused, Harvey glanced down at her wrist, noticing the cuff like bruising on her sink, all three listened intently, still not quite sure where this was going, "in most circumstances this type of bruising would indicate a struggle, which would lead me to believe this may not have been an accident at all."

"Not an accident?" Donna whispered, her mind racing, trying with all the energy she had left to recall what had happened.

"That is my belief, in most circumstances like this, I would recommend giving a police statement, but the issue here is that we don't know what happened." Said the Doctor speaking directly to Harvey now.

"I have a couple of connections at the precinct, I'll send them to the firm to check out the file room for any evidence – just in case." He added, glancing back at Donna.

"Perfect," said Doctor Lind, "I'll have someone bring you the discharge papers, but I want to see you for a check up tomorrow afternoon, get plenty of rest and try to relax." With that she left, leaving the three alone once again.

Donna squeezed Harvey's hand again, their eyes meeting in an intimate moment, the rest of the world seemingly falling away. The look in her beautiful hazel orbs told him everything he needed to know, she was scared. He was too, but in a strange way, they found strength in their shared fear, taking solace from the notion that, no matter what, they were in this together.

XXX

Donna rested her head on Harvey's chest as he carried her, bridal style, through the threshold of the apartment and towards the bedroom. She breathed in his scent, listening to the sound of his thumping heart, almost like a lullaby to her ears. It was in the little moments like this that she realised, just how much she loved him. How every part of him was special to her. It seemed impossible to imagine now, a life where he wasn't hers and she wasn't his.

Harvey placed her gently on her side of the bed, before rummaging through the wardrobe to find one of his old Harvard sweatshirts, which she had claimed as her own. He helped her change from the paper thin hospital gown into the soft, cosy sweatshirt, he tucked her in lovingly, before joining her in the warmth beneath the sheets.

"You okay?" He asked, turning to face her, their noses mere centimetres apart, his hand linked with hers.

"I am now." She whispered, shuffling closer so that their foreheads kissed sweetly. They lay there in silence for a while, taking comfort from each other's presence, wishing they could stay like this forever, just the two of them.

"Harvey?" She croaked quietly, he opened his eyes, noticing the silent tears that streamed down her face, "what if I never remember?" She gulped, gripping his hand tightly.

Harvey leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on her lips, "you will," he breathed, looking into her eyes as he reassured her, "everything is going to be okay, I promise."

 **Thanks for reading! New chapter coming soon!**


	3. Chapter 3: Haunted

Haunted.

The next morning, Harvey Specter's eyes snapped open with a start. What time is it? Did I sleep in? His head spun, still foggy with drowsiness. Without looking, he reached for his phone, squinting at the screen as the bright light stung his tired eyes. Nine am, Sunday. Thank God. He thought to himself, allowing his eyes to close once more, feeling himself slip off once again, succumbing to the fatigue that washed over him. Suddenly, a small, high pitched cry pulled him back to earth. He sat up quickly onto his elbows, his eyes darting in the direction of the small yet powerful cry.

Donna.

Her face was screwed up and creased in discomfort, her hands gripped the sheets tightly, causing her knuckles to turn an icy white, as she tossed and turned, her lips parted, tiny whines and whispers escaping her, just as they had the previous night at the hospital. Harvey was almost sure he heard a small 'no' fall from her lips, but the sound was barely there.

He reached out a hand, resting it on her shoulder, hoping to pull her from what he presumed to be a nightmare, but as soon as his gentle touch connected with her skin, she flinched, recoiling into herself, gasping. He pulled back, confused and admittedly, slightly offended by her harsh reaction.

"Donna," he called, his voice still hoarse from sleeping, "Donna, wake up," He tried again, clearer this time, as he tentatively placed his hand over her bandaged one, trying not to frighten her again, "Donna!"

She woke with a start, retracting her hand from his touch, inhaling deeply as her eyes widened, her pupils darting around as she took in her surroundings. A tear escaped her eye as she swallowed, her gaze finally finding his, as her expression softened in what appeared to be relief.

"I-" she stammered, still slightly disorientated, "sorry-" she sighed, sitting up slowly, bringing her right, unbandaged hand to her face, briskly wiping the stray tear that marked her pale cheek.

"It's okay," said Harvey, carefully placing a hand on her back, glad she didn't flinch at the gesture this time, "are you alright?" He titled his head downwards, trying to catch her eye, a situation she was clearly attempting to avoid.

"I'm fine," she breathed, closing her eyes and biting her lip, giving the game away.

"No," he replied, moving so that he was kneeling opposite her in the bed, taking both her hands in his, gently coaxing her to look at him, "you're not fine. What happened?"

"I- nothing, it was nothing," she replied, quickly, "just a night mare."

"What about?" He pressed, "about last night-?"

"No." She shook her head, "I-" she hesitated, "I just can't remember what it was about, I just-"

"You just? What?"

"I just can't remember ok!" She snapped, another tear falling.

He grimaced, "It's okay, you're going to be okay." He wrapped his arms around her bringing her small form close to his own. But something seemed different, she didn't mould into him the way she usually would, she seemed stiff, reluctant, even. He frowned, putting it down to the pain she must be feeling from the bruises which Harvey knew covered her skin.

"You want breakfast?" He asked, placing a small kiss on her forehead, just above the small gash, which was already beginning to heal up.

She simply nodded, allowing Harvey to help her out of bed and into the kitchen, where the Sunday morning rain pattered steadily against the open plan windows. She sat on a stool at the work top, watching as each rain drop collided with a tiny explosion against the glass, trying to distract herself from the growing pain in her head.

Harvey watched her closely as he busied himself in the kitchen, making coffee while the waffles cooked. She looked distant, her eyes seemed haunted, her fair complexion was paler than usual, the stark blue bruising standing out against her white skin, giving her a somewhat ghostly appearance.

He removed the waffles from the toaster oven, swirling just the right amount of whipped cream on each of their helpings. She jumped slightly when he placed her plate and mug in front of her, giving her a small smile as he sat down across from her.

Donna drank the coffee gladly, feeling the caffeine running through her veins, returning some energy to her tired body. She looked up, catching Harvey's eye, "Thanks."

"You have an appointment with Dr Lind today, at 12pm I think." He reminded her, taking another bite of his waffle.

"Oh, yeah," she replied absent-mindedly, "do you have any more of those pain killers?" She asked, bringing her hand to her head as the pain grew steadily more unbearable.

He jumped to his feet, fetching the small container and handing her the tiny blue pill, along with a glass of water.

"What time is it?" She asked, after swallowing the pill, downing the rest of her coffee and ignoring the icy glass of water.

"Around ten I think," he replied, still studying her face, trying but failing to decode her defeated demeanour, "Donna is everything ok-?"

"I'm going to have a shower," she interrupted, expertly dodging his question, "I smell like hospital." She stood up quickly from her seat, Harvey didn't miss the way she wobbled on her feet, or the way she attempted to disguise it, shooting him a weak smile, before, slowly, making her way towards the bathroom.

"Do you need any help? I don't mean – I mean – I'll get you some towels-"

"No, no," she cut in, "I can manage, thanks." And with that she disappeared into the bedroom.

Harvey sighed deeply, he was confused, worried, and maybe even a little hurt by Donna's treatment this morning. What had changed?

He wanted to put it down to the pain and confusion she must be feeling herself, but that didn't explain her reaction to his attempts to help or comfort her. They had always been there for each other, no matter what the circumstances, so why, why now, when she needed him most was she blocking him out at every turn?

Harvey shook his head, busying himself with cleaning up the kitchen. He picked up their mugs and plates, noticing for the first time, that Donna hadn't touched her food. He clenched his jaw, his stomach knotting in that familiar way.

Something isn't right.

XXX

The visit with Doctor Lind that afternoon was short, she cleared Donna almost completely, saying that all her injuries seemed to be healing up nicely, however, she suggested she take at least another day before returning to work. Doctor Lind also asked the pair to contact her, should Donna regain any memories.

"Other than that, I think you're good to go Donna," said the doctor, smiling warmly at her from behind her desk, "unless you have any questions for me?"

"No I-"

"Actually," Harvey interrupted, catching both Donna and doctor Lind off guard, "I'm a little concerned, Donna had a nightmare last night, she was very distressed when she woke up, the same thing happened yesterday in the hospital I was just wonder-"

"Harvey," said Donna sternly, she had tensed up again, her eyes burning holes in the wall as she avoided his gaze yet again, "you're exaggerating, it was nothing, really" she spoke directly to the Doctor, painting on a smile he knew to be fake.

"Nightmares aren't unusual after someone has suffered a certain trauma," said Doctor Lind, glancing between the pair, "however if it keeps up, let me know." She said, speaking directly to Harvey this time.

XXX

"Why would you bring that up?" She hissed, they were sitting in the back of Ray's car, you could have cut the tension with a knife, both holding their breath, until Donna finally cracked.

"Because I was worried about you," he retorted, turning to face her, though she still averted her eyes from his, "I care about you Donna, surely you know that by now?"

She closed her eyes, hands fiddling with the hem of her dress, "I know." She whispered.

"So why won't you let me help you? Did I do something-"

"No." She answered, almost too quickly, "no, you didn't, it's just," she bit the inside of her cheek, eye brows creased, as if she was deciding what to say, "I'm just tired and confused. I'm sorry."

He took her hand gingerly, noticing the way it shook slightly, "you don't have to be sorry," he reassured her, still trying but failing to catch her eye, "I just want you to let me in."

XXX

Harvey placed the files for Cline Ltd back inside the blue plastic folder, he turned his chair around, watching as the sun began to set on another grim Monday at Specter Litt. His minded ticked and spun with the events of the day. How he had woken, yet again to Donna, twisting and turning in their bed, her refusal, once again to let him comfort her. To make matters worse, they had hit a dead end in terms of finding out who this mysterious revenge seeker was. The police had not been able to find any evidence to suggest that what happened to Donna was anything more than an accident. The CCTV footage from the night of Donna's, accident, had come up blank. If some one had attacked her that night, they had been clever enough to avoid all camera points.

Harvey made a mental note to install more security in the firm.

On the upside, however, as a result of the combined efforts of Harvey, Mike, Rachel and Alex, the four lawyers had managed to get four out of the five impending lawsuits on Harvey's clients called off, arguing on the grounds of utter fabrication.

He glanced down at the picture frame that rested on his windowsill, Harvey and Donna were pictured, arm in arm, beaming at each other candidly, both wrapped up warm in winter coats, as the magical New York snow fell around them, the snow flakes sprinkled on her fiery red her, with the beautiful, twinkling lights of Broadway in the background. Their first Christmas together, he smiled fondly at the memory.

 _"This night" she breathed out, nuzzling her head against his shoulder as they exited the theatre, "its been perfect."_

 _"You're perfect," he replied, as they turned to face each other, the rest of the world melting away in that moment, "and this," he reached into his pocket, removing a small, navy, velvet box, "is for you."_

 _She smiled playfully, accepting the gift and opening the delicate clasp carefully. Inside, a small, shining emerald rested on a silver chain. Donna gasped, her eyes glistening as she admired the beautiful jewel._

 _"I have no words." She whispered, biting her lip as she closed the box, keeping the precious item safe, "thank you Harvey."_

 _At that very moment, sparkling drops of snow began to fall from the Christmas Eve sky, adding a certain element of fairy tale magic to the evening._

 _"Excuse me sir," Harvey called to a passerby, "would you mind taking a picture of us, please?"_

 _The man nodded, accepting Harvey's phone, and standing back._

 _Donna turned her eyes towards Harvey, looking up at him through her snowflake covered eyelashes, "I love you Harvey, Merry Christmas." She whispered, her pink cheeks raised in a smile._

 _"Merry Christmas Donna, I love you more."_

Tumbling back down to earth, Harvey jumped into action, he was determined to fix things, to get back to being them.

XXX

When he arrived at his apartment, an hour later, he heard the familiar hum of the shower echoing around the hollow walls of their home. 'Perfect' he thought to himself, as he set straight to work.

He placed the shopping bags on the work top, taking the blooming bunch of pink peonies and white roses and arranging them in a vase on the dining table, the flowers blending beautifully with the colours of dusk that were reflected around his glass living room. Next, he rummaged through the cupboards, finding and array of candles, lighting each one as he placed them around the room. He removed his Grey silk tie and Tom Ford suit jacket, rolling up his sleeves as he began to lay out the food. Thai of course.

He searched the shelves for Donna's favourite record, placing it on the player at a low pitch, just as he heard the click, indicating that the shower had been switched off. As he waited for her to emerge, he poured two glasses of her first choice of red wine.

"What's all this?" He heard her voice, melodic as always. He followed the sound, turning on the spot. She was standing in the doorway of their bedroom, the icy blue night dress bringing out the warm tones in her hair, the light, white cover up she wore almost matched her porcelain skin, highlighting every freckle, even at a distance, for a moment, he was able to look past the bruises, look past the tension of the past few days, and see his Donna. His beautiful, happy, bright Donna.

"Hi," he whispered, still recovering from the beautiful sight before his eyes, "you look... amazing."

She dropped her eyes, shaking her head, "What's going on?" She asked again, a small smile playing on her lips for the first time in the last two days.

"I thought you deserved a treat," he replied, meeting her half way and reaching out his hand for hers, after a moments hesitation she took it, "and I just felt like reminding you how much I love you."

She closed her eyes, still smiling slightly, squeezing his hand, "I love you too."

After they had eaten, Harvey stood up, exchanging the record for another one, the smooth voice of Otis Redding filled the space, "I've been loving you.. to long..."

He reached out his hand yet again, "May I have this dance?"

She stood, allowing him to wrap his arms around her, as she placed her hands on his chest, "always the gentlemen."she breathed, resting her chin on his chiseled shoulder.

They swayed to the music, lost in each other's loving touch, all thoughts of the last two days, the threats, the incident, the nightmares, the tension, they all dissolved as held one another, connected eternally by the beating of their hearts in unison. Time stood still, yet the minutes ran away from them at the same time, and Donna was reminded of that familiar sensation, that the rest of the world was melting away, a silent promise that they were the only two people who mattered in the world.

Out of no where, the warmly lit walls of their apartment melted away before Donna's eyes, greenish white light blinded her, she stumbled away from his touch, dread rising in her throat, she saw a blur of light brown lined around her, as she fell backwards, her back hitting something solid, preventing her from falling. She didn't know where she was, her head was spinning furiously, familiar tones flying past her line of vision, suddenly a set piercing green eyes locked with her's sending chills down her spine and making her stomach churn.

Everything was becoming clearer now, the blurs of colour turning to shapes, the feeling of hands gripping her wrists, she became aware that she was lying down, on what she thought to be a bed. Some one was standing over her, no, not someone, him. She knew those eyes, eyes that seemed to burn holes in her skin. Something was crushing her, she couldn't breath, she need to get away from him but she couldn't move.

Harvey was frozen in shock, Donna had backed herself up against the wall, she was barely breathing, clutching at her chest as her eyes darted around the room, searching for something that Harvey couldn't see. Then, almost as suddenly, her eyes fell closed, she dropped to the ground like a rag doll, her back sliding down the wall as a strangled cry escaped her lips. He lunged forwards, holding her shoulders and gently shaking her, "Donna?" He called, his heart beating so fast he thought it might burst, "Donna? It's okay, please, you're okay!" He pleaded with her, shaking her a little more firmly now.

"Nnn-"she mumbled, her eyebrows knitting together, "n-no, no"

"Donna!" He yelled this time, his own fear getting the better of him, she jolted awake, inhaling sharply, immediately resisting his touch, she twisted, trying to loosen his grip, until finally her red rimmed hazel eyes landed on his chestnut brown orbs, causing her features to soften.

"Harv- I-" she stammered.

"What happened? Did you remember something?" He asked, his voice full of concern, as he wiped a few tears from her cheek.

"I- I don't know-" she choked, "I saw-" but she stopped, screwing her eyes shut again.

"What Donna? What did you see?"

"I- I can't-" she started to cry, her hands shaking as he held them.

"Please," he begged, his voice breaking as his own emotions overwhelmed him, "please, let me in Donna, I know something's not right, let me help you."

The pain in his voice hit a nerve with her, she crumbled under his worried gaze, "It was a long time ago," she began, swallowing hard, "Something bad happened to me."


	4. Chapter 4: Past Pain

**Past Pain.**

Chapter 4.

 _"Please," he begged, his voice breaking as his own emotions overwhelmed him, "please, let me in Donna, I know something's not right, let me help you."_

 _The pain in his voice hit a nerve with her, she crumbled under his worried gaze, "It was a long time ago," she began, swallowing hard, "Something bad happened to me."_

Harvey grimaced, squeezing her hand a little tighter, he'd expected as much, "Okay," he whispered, placing a hand on her forehead to check for a fever, feeling the cold sweat that had formed on her face, "but first," he swept her up into his arms, cradling her close to him as he stood up, "I want to get you warmed up and relaxed, then we can stay up all night talking if we have to."

He placed her tentatively on the sofa, reaching behind her for the furry throw and wrapping it round her shoulders, he walked to the kitchen, brewing them a mug of hot chocolate each and returning to the sofa, carrying a small box of tissues under his arm. He smiled reassuringly at her as she accepted the mug, taking a long sip, some of the colour beginning to return to her cheeks. He sat down next to her, reaching a protective arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

After a minute or two, she stirred, "I don't know where to start," she said quietly, "I don't know how to-" her voice shook, she bit her lip to stop it quivering.

"Shh, it's okay," he comforted, tracing soothing patterns on her back, "you can start whenever you're ready, I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, taking another small sip of her hot chocolate, and letting out a deep breath.

"It was coming to the end of my last year in Yale, I was doing my Bachelors in Theatre and I'd just finished my exams, I was getting ready to move into the city, but my apartment wouldn't be ready for another two weeks, so I decided to stay living on campus until then."

Harvey nodded, urging her to continue, giving her shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

"A couple weeks before then, I'd met this guy, he'd been flirting with me for a while, and he asked me out a couple of times, we went out to lunch once, but I put off going on an actual date until the exams had ended."

She clutched at the blanket, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I ran into him one day in the courtyard, he asked me out again, but I said it didn't make much sense for us to start dating now, he was staying on at Yale for another two years to finish his degree, I was heading to live in the city, it just didn't make sense. But he was very… persuasive, and eventually I agreed to go to drinks with him – as friends…"

 _Donna gave herself one last glance over in the mirror that hung by her door as she left the apartment, her hair fell in loose fiery curls, her make up was immaculate as always, the soft brown tones of her eye shadow matched perfectly with her pale pink dress. She applied one more layer of lipstick, and locked the door to her dorm room, placing her keys and phone inside her sparkly clutch purse._

 _She walked the short distance across the street to the bar where they had agreed to meet, a regular spot for Yale students, and on a Friday night, it was sure to be busy, and when she arrived, her suspicions were proven true, the bar was crowded with students celebrating an end to their exams, many already intoxicated despite the fact that it was just after 8 o'clock. Her eyes scanned the room until they landed on his, unmissable green eyes. He was sitting at the bar, at the corner nearest the door. He looked up from his already half empty drink as she approached, shooting her an alluring smile._

 _"Hi Red," he greeted, gesturing to the empty stool next to him, "you look hot."_

 _She smirked, a small laugh escaping her throat, "thanks, you don't look half bad yourself."_

 _He signalled the bar tender, ordering a round of drinks, a martini for Donna and another beer for himself. The evening slipped away from them quickly, chatting about everything, from exams to future plans. Donna couldn't recall exactly when, but at some point, that night in the bar, his eyes shifted from shining and kind, to dangerous and compelling._

 _They were finishing up on what must have been their fourth or fifth round of drinks, Donna could definitely feel the liquor going to her head, her feet tingled in a familiar way, her eye lids grew gradually heavier. She stole a glance at her watch, her eyebrows arching as she saw it had just passed eleven. She was about to begin her goodbye, when he jumped in, cutting her off just as she opened her mouth._

 _"I've had a lot of fun tonight," he said, scooting closer to her on his bar stool, his head titled to the side in a sultry manner, "I'm really glad we did this."_

 _"Me too," she replied, giving him a warm smile, "but I really should be-"_

 _"So what do you say," he interrupted again, placing a cold hand on her knee, "we go somewhere more private?" His hand beginning an intruding caress, moving slowly under her skirt._

 _"I don't-" she stammered, slightly caught off guard by his sudden change of character, "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested in you like that."_

 _Donna was sure she saw a flicker of irritation behind his burning green eyes, "what's the matter?" He asked nonchalantly, his hand never stopping as he leaned closer, so his lips brushed her jaw, "am I not good enough for you?"_

 _"It's not that I just-" she straightened up, distancing her face from his, and placing a hand on his intruding one, "I'm just not- I'm not r-really.." she slurred, trying her best to concentrate on forming a coherent sentence, but her mind was foggy, she could almost feel the toxic alcohol coursing through her veins._

 _Her head began to spin, the room around her growing slightly distorted, with great effort, she pushed his offending hand from her inner thigh, promptly pulling the hem of her dress down, "I n-need to go… home."_

 _"Fine," He gave sigh, standing up and offering her his hand, "I'll walk you home."_

 _She wanted to push his hand away, storm out of the bar and march home her self, but in her current state, she felt she was in no position to refuse the help. She reluctantly took his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her._

 _As he led her through the partying crowds of college students, she noticed how each one of their faces seemed blurred, her legs felt weak in her heels, she felt, almost removed from her body, nothing felt real._

 _Something wasn't right, she had been drunk before, she had had more to drink on other occasions than she'd had tonight, and had still been able to stand. Dread began brewing in the pit of her stomach, as they exited the bar, heading across the street, "D-did, y-you put some…thing in m-my dri-"_

 _"Shh," he hushed, tightening his uncomfortable grip around her waist, "don't worry, we're almost there."_

 _But the world around her was quickly fading, she could feel her eye lids dropping, as she slipped out of consciousness, "ple-please d-don't…"_

 _But her words were lost, as everything went black._

 _She became aware of her other senses, before she regained sight. She was lying down, on something soft – a bed, it was hard to breathe, she felt a crushing weight above her, something gripped her wrists – someone, with a sickening lurch of her stomach, she realised, her underwear was missing._

 _The realisation alone, caused her eyes, to fly open, those piercing green eyes bore into her own, before lunging down wards, his lips invading the soft skin of her neck. She felt an unmistakable sense of panic rising in her throat, as she gasped, struggling for air._

 _"Please," she began to cry, feeling the presence of his waist between her legs, "no, please don't-" she tried to move, she struggled under his harsh grip, her mind telling her to fight, to run, but her body was non-responsive._

 _"Just relax Red," he crooned into her ear, causing her to recoil in disgust._

 _"N-no no" she whispered, in between strangled cries, she could feel her self slipping again, her eyes longing to close, her head spun furiously, the last thing she remembers, is the sickening sound as her dress ripped before her eyelashes fluttered as she finally succumbed to the darkness._

"When I woke up again, he was gone," Donna sniffled, wiping a few silent tears from her cheeks, "it was morning, I could barely remember anything – apart from the pain, everything hurt, I didn't know what to do. I was to scared to go to the police, I couldn't remember much and I had been drinking so I didn't think anyone would believe me."

"I got up, and showered, trying to get rid of the feeling of him from my skin, it was early in the morning five or six am, but when I was on the way back to my dorm room from the showers, I ran into a girl I knew, Lisa, who lived in my dorm block. We weren't very close, but she saw - she saw the marks on my skin, and started asking questions, and well – I just broke down, I started babbling on, blurting it all out. She was kind to me, took me back to her room and helped me calm down, but someone must have over heard us in the corridor, because rumours spread like wildfire."

"Some people were saying I was asking for it, that I was stupid to get drunk, that I should have been more careful. It hurt, but I didn't care so much, I was leaving in a few days, I wouldn't have to face it for much longer. But most of the rumours were about him, people were saying it wasn't the first time, that he'd done it before, I ruined his 'golden boy' reputation. As far as I know, he transferred to another school."

"I tried my best to forget about it, when I moved to the city I buried the few memories I had of that night. I never dealt with it properly. I would have dreams - nightmares, from time to time, but I hadn't had one in years until the other night. Now they won't stop-" she broke down again, quiet sobs racking her chest. Harvey wrapped his arms around her tightly, nuzzling his face into her hair as she cried, he hadn't said a word since she started her story, listening intently from beginning to end, though his insides burned with rage and sadness.

When her cries eventually began to subside, Harvey broke the silence, "I'm so so sorry." He whispered, fighting the emotions he could feel rising in his own throat, willing himself not to let the tears that prickled in his eyes fall, "I wish you'd told me sooner."

"I should have." She replied, turning to face him, "I should have told you years ago, but I was scared, I didn't want to have to relive it, I thought it was better to bury it, act like it never happened, but I was wrong, it only made things worse."

"It's going to be okay now," he replied, placing a kiss on her forehead, "you don't have to be scared anymore-"

"But I am scared!" She burst out, sitting back from him slightly, "I know _I'm Donna_ , I'm supposed to be strong and brave – but I'm only human," she took a shaky breath, "and when I woke up in the hospital the other night, I didn't know where I was or what had happened, and that scared me all over again, it feels just like before! I feel helpless because I'm desperate to remember, even though I know that those memories might cause me more pain, the uncertainty is the most terrifying thing to me."

"I understand," Harvey soothed, continuing his comforting caress on her back, "I just want to help, I'll do anything."

"I don't want to talk anymore," she admitted, "just hold me."

She melted into him, pressing the side of her face to his chest, allowing the steady beating of his heart to lull her off to sleep, as he wrapped a protective arm around her body. When he finally heard her breathing deepen and even out, he gently picked up her sleeping form, carrying her into the bed room and laying down next to her under the covers. Donna slept peacefully that night, comforted by his presence, and the knowledge that she no longer had to carry the weight of a secret she'd kept for years alone, now, after years of suffering, she finally had help.

But Harvey barely slept, haunted by the images his imagination created as he replayed her tale over and over in his head. His mind whirled as he attempted to connect the dots, between past and present, between what had happened all those years ago, and what had happened just two days before. He had a feeling there was more to this story, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.

XXX

 **To be continued.**

 **I have so exams coming up, so I may not get the chance to update for the next week or two! Thanks for reading as always, please leave a review and let me know what you think! X**


	5. Chapter 5: Strength

The following week brought many challenges for the pair. Donna's nightmares began to subside, becoming more and more manageable as the nights passed, the images were less vivid, as if they were distorted by water. She caught snippets of visions she almost remembered, like wet sand seeping through her fingers as she reached out desperately for answers. Her frustration brew like a rising storm in her mind, the clouds that impaired her memories of the past growing dark and angry, building to an explosive climax.

On the bright side, her injuries had healed almost completely. Her physical injuries that is. Her bruises had faded yellow, her scars no more than thin dark red lines on her skin, as though drawn carefully on her complexion with ink. She looked just like herself again. Almost as if it had never happened. She had no memory of that night in the file room, just the pain that came as a result of it.

Just like the last time.

Although she didn't regret telling Harvey about that time all those years ago, him knowing did have its ups and downs. He slept right next to her every night, his body curled around hers like a protective shell. He listened when she wanted to talk. He was sweet, understanding and empathetic. However he kept dropping hints as to the possibility of her seeing a trauma therapist that Dr. Lind had mentioned after the file room incident, he casually suggested she try different forms of meditation that he'd heard of, to help "put it out of her mind".

She understood his need to do something, to regain some control of the situation. He's Harvey Specter, and she's Donna Paulsen. She's the one person who knows him better than anyone else on this earth. So his attempts to help her forget and move on are in his nature. He can't read her the same way she can read him. It's a gift she was born with and not many people are lucky to posses. Harvey can't comprehend the battle in her mind. Her longing to forget, yet her desperation to remember. As much as she wishes she could let go and move on, she feels an unrelenting burning in her mind that won't let her find peace.

And without those memories, she is lost.

On the coffee table lay the discarded news paper they had huddled over triumphantly just over a week earlier. Her own face smiled back at her mockingly, vibrant and flawless, standing close to the one thing that made it all easier, Harvey. Their happy faces were slightly blurred, the glossy newspaper picture had given way to wear and tear, smudging to the right.

Donna tore her eyes away from the browning bundle of paper, clutching her mug of coffee more tightly as she finished the glorious drink in one final gulp, all while slipping her feet into the silk stilettos that rested beside her on the floor.

"Are you ready?" His voice called from the bedroom, as she stood into her heels. She took one last deep breath, closing her eyes in a futile attempt to clear her mind.

"Ready." She replied.

XXX

As they entered the firm, he reached out and took her hand. Sparks flying between their finger tips at the first brush of flesh. His energy seemed to charge through her veins as they linked fingers, sharing each other's strength, sharing each other's pain. A small gesture that seemed to ground her, for a moment everything was as it had been. Donna and Harvey, New York City's famous power couple, unstoppable.

Over the last week and a half, that version of them had become some what distant to Donna. As if that happy, untouchable pair lived in an alternate universe, far from their own. But now, as they strutted through the corridors of Specter Litt, she felt it, a fire reigniting low in her chest.

She savoured that moment, knowing all too well that it was fleeting, but still holding on desperately, in an attempt to rebuild herself to what she once was.

They reached the neighboring doors of each other's offices, and with a lingering kiss on the cheek, they parted for their respective desks.

A burning blood red glow attracted her eye as she entered the glass room, a brilliant bouquet of stunning red roses rested at the center of her desk, contrasting with the softer pastels of her office. She gave a curious smile as she approached, titling her head as she spotted a small white card placed delicately amoung the blooms.

 _Welcome back. -H_

She glanced absentmindedly at the wall separating her and Harvey, he never failed to surprise her. She certainty hadn't expected him to be so thoughtful. Although he had his moments, romantics had never been his strong suit. Even his choice of flower was out of character. He usually favored peonies, or pink and white roses, seeing as he knew them to be her favorite.

But red. Red was unusual.

The shrill ringing of her phone brought her tumbling back down to reality. She swiftly moved the flowers to her window sill, picking up her phone as she began the long days work ahead.

XXX

The week seemed to run away from them. Donna was throwing herself whole heartedly into the mountain of work that had piled up in her absence, leaving her no time to give a second thought to the whirlwind of the past week's events. She was regaining her rhythm, slowly slipping back into the flow of the firm, of the life she loved so much.

Donna entered the kitchen, her heels clicking steadily as she placed another diamond in her right ear, the Friday morning sun shone through the glass panels of their home, catching the sparkle in her jewels as well as her glittering eyes.

"Breakfast?" Harvey asked, shooting her a pleasant smile, all while passing her a white glossy plate, endowed with a heated crossaint accompanied by an abundance of berries smothered in fresh whipped cream.

"How long have you been slaving over that for?" She replied sitting down at the bar across from him, quirking an eyebrow as she scanned him up and down, "I don't remember you coming to bed last night."

"I crashed on the couch," he explained, sliding a mug of coffee across the counter, "I was working late and fell asleep, I have the ache in my shoulder to show for it." He winced as he rolled his arm back, stretching the tired muscle.

Donna took a mouthful of berries and cream, moving round the counter to his side. She placed her delicate hands on his shoulders, beginning a slow and easing caress up and down, pressing slightly in the right spots, feeling the tension under his skin dissolve. Leaning her head into the crook of his neck, she places a kiss along his chiseled jaw, he turned on cue, capturing her lips with his own, tasting the sweet flavour of cream a fruit as their mouths met.

"Better?" She asks, breathlessly.

"Better." He sighed, as she returns to her seat, he immediately missed the feeling of her hands on his skin.

Taking a small sip of her coffee, Donna felt an uneasy turning in the pit of her stomach. She squirms noticeably in place, the wooden stool suddenly becoming incredibly uncomfortable.

"Everything alright?" Harvey inquired, noticing the slight frown that graced her beautiful features.

"Yes, fine." She answered, though her stomach gave another lurch, and she griped her dress beneath the counter, scrunching the light pink material into her fist as she willed the nausea to pass.

"I'd better get going, I have a meeting at 8:30." She stood slowly, as the sickness in her stomach grew dull.

Harvey frowned, "You've barely touched your breakfast, and you didn't drink your coffee-"

"Lost my appetite." She gave a tight smile, hoping it would satisfy him.

He looked at her side ways, "you look pale, is something the matter-"

"No Harvey I'm fine," she interrupted, placing her phone and keys in her hand bag hurriedly, "I'm just not hungry-"

"Last night.. did you have another-?"

"No!" She snapped, glaring at him, but he didn't relent, his eyes narrowing as he attempted to decode her.

"Stop it!" She gasped, her chest rising and falling heavily, "stop looking at me like that- as if - as if I'm broken or something, I don't need this right now-"

His gaze softened, guilt rising in the pit of his chest, he moved forward, reaching out an apologetic hand to her, "I didn't mean to- I'm just worried-"

"I have to go."

And with that she fled from the apartment, the slamming of the door ringing in his ears long after she'd left.

XXX

At midday, Donna lay back into her desk chair, closing her eyes for a moment of peace, as the hustle and bustle of the busy law firm continued to revolve outside her office. She felt drained, her meeting had gone terribly, as she had been too distracted by the swirling sensation in her stomach that had her running to the restroom as soon as the clients had left the conference room. Her head throbbed, longing for sustenance, but her body was rejecting every bite of food and sip of water. She longed for her bed, to lie down and disappear for a few hours, undisturbed.

She lifted a pale hand to the intercom, the one which connected her and Harvey's office, but her finger hovered over the button. Flashing back to the way he'd looked at her that morning. As if she were weak. She let her hand fall, thinking better of it. Asking Harvey for the afternoon off would only fuel his concern and diminish her further. So she rose gently from her chair, grabbing the freshly stacked bundle of paper work on her desk, and setting out through the halls of Specter Litt.

"Hi Donna." A voice like carmel called from behind, followed by the rushed clicking of heels as her best friend reached her side, flashing her a stunning smile.

"Hey Rach, busy day?" She replied, heads turning as the two women glided down through the firm, bodies parting like the sea as they passed.

"Ugh- beyond busy, just need to file these away" she answered, shooting a begrudging look at the pile of paper work she carried, almost matching the height of Donna's, "shoot, I think I forgot one- I'll meet you in the file room." She fluttered off, strutting back in the direction they had just come.

Donna stopped dead when she reached the double wooden doors that concealed the file room. She'd avoided this spot all week, pawning off her filing on helpless associates and assistants that happened to cross her path at the wrong time. She took a deep nourishing breath, scolding herself internally for the feelings which she was allowing to roll over her skin - anxiety, fear, curiosity -

Releasing the breath slowly, she placed her free hand on the handle, revealing the pale greenish-brown of the room. She stepped inside, purposely leaving the door ajar behind her, as she moved swiftly towards the back of the room, placing her files on an empty shelf, suddenly wishing she'd ordered them before she'd left her office.

She reached high for a box, but the movement made her head spin, the deafening silence in the room ringing in her ears, her hand fell to her forehead, her eyes fluttering shut as she willed the room to stop spinning, that familiar feeling of nausea from breakfast raising its ugly head.

"Pull yourself together" she muttered, fumbling for another file, her eyes still half closed.

Then she heard it, the shutting of a door, a small click that resonated around the room, sending a chilling sensation across her goose-bumped skin. Déjà vu clouded her mind, an unmistakable and unjustified sense of fear running through her veins, pumped by the fast paced beating of her pulse.

She was about to open her mouth, to call out, ask who's there? But her mind failed her, the room becoming a blur of green and brown, falling away before her half- hooded eyes.

 _She felt an intruding arm reach around her waist, a hand covering her mouth simultaneously, she kicked out, knocking boxes and piles of files as she struggled, the attacker pushed her forward, trapping her between his body and the metal shelving unit, his hand removing its self from her waist, grabbing her wrist tightly as he spun her round painfully, his other falling away from her mouth to cuff her other wrist, pinning them at her sides._

 _She made as if to scream, but her soft Bambi eyes laned on the last sight she ever expected to see._

 _Piercing, frightening green._

 _Her body reacted of its own accord, turning to stone under that intimidating gaze, "it's been too long Red," he crooned, stepping forward so that her back pressed uncomfortably into the cage behind her, releasing her wrist, he quickly removed a white cloth from his pocket, aiming it at her face, the unmistakable scent of chemicals wofting from the material._

 _She lurched forward, knocking him to the side as she went, grasping the edge of the opposite shelving stand as she stumbled in her heels. Donna felt a harsh tug at the back of her dress, she let out a soft yelp, clinging to the metal unit, as if it were a life line. A move she immediately regretted. She felt the heavy unit sway forward, panic striking her chest, she turned clumsily on the spot slipping on the scattered files that had been discarded minutes earlier._

 _The last thing she felt was an unbearable pain in the side of her head, and the crushing weight on her back._

"Donna?"

Her eyes fluttered open, to meet big brown orbs, filled to the brim with worry. She was lying on the ground, the hard surface doing her aching back no favors. All she could focus on was the creased face in front of her, Rachel, who seemed to be saying something that Donna's mind couldn't register. She allowed her eyes to flutter closed again, but quickly opened them, feeling Rachel grip her shoulder in a small shake.

Slowly, she began to move, propping herself up on her elbows carefully, as the room began to come into focus. She was beginning to make out Rachel's words, still distant and whispy, as if she were hearing them through an old broken speaker. From the high pitched tone of her voice, Donna gathered that she was calling for help.

The room was beginning to come into focus, the shelving units towering above her head dauntingly, the distant click of the door brought her memories flooding back, flashing in fragments across her mind, she reached out and gripped Rachel's arm.

"Rach-" she croaked, as her friend turned back to face her, shuffling closer to the red head, and placing a protective arm around her back, "Rach- I remembered-"

Just then, Harvey and Mike came hurling around the corner, looking slightly dazed, they both carried an air of urgency that made Donna uneasy.

"What happened?" Harvey demanded, his eyes scanning over the two women, huddled closely on the floor, "are you okay?"

Rachel moved aside, retreating to Mike's side and allowing Harvey to access Donna, he searched her face for answers.

"I- I felt dizzy," she explained, sitting up further, "I must have passed out... but I don't know how long-"

Donna jumped, retracting her hand from Harvey's grip. He had made to check her pulse, but the feeling of his fingers closing around her wrist triggered the memories once again, causing her to tense.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"I remember," She said urgently, taking his hands in her own this time, "the other night, it was him, he was here-" she choked on the words, saying it out loud made it all too real.

Harvey placed a finger gently beneath Donna's chin catching her gaze, their eyes communicating in a way that only they could, exchanging each other's fear and strength.

"What's going on?" Mike interrupted, his voice slightly hushed, "who is he?"

"Mike," Harvey replied, never taking his eyes off Donna's "I want you to call Jonathan Garett at the Precinct, let him know we're coming down."

Donna squeezed Harvey's hand, her other palm landing on his chest as he helped her to her feet, his heart beat against her skin, matching the pace of her own heightened pulse.

She saw a question forming in his mind, and answered before it could fall from his lips.

"I'm not scared."

XXX

 **Sorry this chapter took so long, I had a busy month! Thank you to all the kind reviews and feedback I've received so far, let me know what You think of this chapter, and as always thanks for reading! X**


	6. Something Good

Harvey's oversized suit jacket shielded Donna from the crisp evening breeze as they exited the Precinct later that evening, their arms linked in a show of unity as they descended the cold grey steps of the dull lifeless building. Donna's mind couldn't help but wander to the hundreds, if not thousands of victims and criminals alike, who had descended this staircase. Something about that image, of her, walking in the worn footsteps of others who had suffered gave her a new found feeling of strength, a budding promise that, from this moment on, it does get better.

The sun was setting as Ray pulled up outside their building, Harvey was awoken from his daydream as the car came to a gentle halt. Donna's head rested on his shoulder, her soft red waves tickling the exposed skin of his neck, her heavy breathing told him that she'd fallen asleep on their short journey home from the police station.

He swept her up into his arms, carrying her bridal style through the front doors of the building. Her body seemed to curl into his own perfectly, the feeling of her steady breath against his chest spread a warm, soothing feeling across his body. Breathing the life that this day has drained, back into him.

Donna began to stir in his arms as he fumbled with the key in the front door. He closed it softly behind him, noticing the way her eyelashes fluttered as she began to wake, her lips quirking slightly. He studied the details of her face, clusters of freckles beginning to show as the thin layer of make up she wore had begun to fade, he followed the endless trail of light freckles to where they rested on the perfect curve of her nose, mentally filing away these little quirks of hers, burned forever into his memory.

He sat them down on the couch, stretching his legs out, hers wrapped in between, her head now resting under his chin, breathing in the smell of her hair, lavender with a hint of rose.

"Hey." She whispered, stretching her arms as she woke.

"Hey you," He replied, trailing his fingers up and down the curve of her neck, "How're you feeling?"

"Better now," she sighed, snuggling into him further, linking her fingers with his, "Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me something good." She closed her eyes, drowsiness still lingering.

He hesitated for a moment, watching the way she bit the inside of her cheek, "My Dad," he began, noticing how her eyes half opened at the mention of Gordon, "he used to talk about you, a lot actually."

"Really?" He could see a small smile forming on her lips, cheek bones raised ever so slightly.

"Ever since that first time he met you when he came to visit me at the office, every time I'd see him, he'd say things like 'didn't you bring Donna with you? When are you two gonna see what everyone else sees? Did you pluck up the nerve and ask her out already? You know I only invite you down here with the hope that you'll bring Donna with you, right?'" Harvey chuckled fondly at the memory, "He used to joke about wanting little strawberry blonde grandkids."

"I wish I could've gotten to know him better." She closed her eyes again, imagining what might have been.

"I do too," he whispered, suddenly over come with longing, for his father to be here, to see them, finally the way they should have been for all these years, "us being together, it would've made him so happy."

Silence enveloped them then, both reminiscing on past, happy memories flooding their minds, both silently entertaining the idea of those 'strawberry blonde kids' running about the apartment, filling its cold walls with light. They sat for a long time, content in each other's arms, after all the drama of the last two weeks, it was nice to just be still.

After a while, Harvey broke the peace, "we should probably eat something, you look like you haven't eaten a bite all day." His hand went to her cheek examining her pale skin.

She nodded, sitting up, "my stomach didn't feel so good earlier," She explained, "probably why I passed out."

"I hope you're not coming down with something," He said, placing the back of his hand on her forehead, "you don't have a fever."

"It's probably nothing, anyway I feel fine now." She assured him.

"Shitty Thai food?" He questioned, already dialing the number on his phone.

"You know me too well."

An hour later, both sat in bed, Harvey leaning back against the head board, Donna, beside him cross legged, chopsticks in hand, as they worked their way through an accessive amount of Thai food.

Donna giggled, the happy sound reverberating off the walls, lighting the room up, "Wait, your dad really had a song called 'Bopping with Donna?'"

"True story," He nodded, taking another bite, "I remember hearing him play it in the studio for the first time when I was about ten or so, I guess, even back then, he knew we were meant to be."

She smiled, dropping her eyes to the cardboard take out box, touched by his words.

"Enough about me," he blurted out suddenly, "it's your turn to tell a story."

"What do you wanna know?"

"What was high school Donna like?" he replied, tilting his head to the side, in that irresistible way that made her want to discard her food and devour him instead.

"Almost as amazing as adult Donna, but with bigger hair," she giggled, suddenly, an idea popped into her head, "wait here."

She planted a chaste kiss on his lips before hopping off the bed and scurrying off into the walk-in closet at the far end of the room. Harvey could hear rustling, the sound of cupboard doors being opened and closed as she searched for something

"What are you doing?" He asked, sitting up further in the bed.

"Just a sec - ah-ha" she emerged from the closet moments later, a discolored cream, cardboard box tucked under her arm and against her waist, even from the bed, he could see the thin layer of dust that covered the lid "I'd almost forgotten I had these," she sighed, placing the box on the bed as she sat, tucking her legs underneath her.

Harvey lifted the lid of the old box, what he found inside was Donna, smiling back at him, her face twenty or so years younger, hair long and curly, pulled back from her face in a half-up half-down style, that drew the attention to her sparkling eyes. She was beaming, her cheeks raised, covered in a light dusting of freckles. He noticed what she was wearing, a royal blue, white and gold cheerleader's outfit, she was posing for the picture, looking over her shoulder adoringly at the camera.

"Ah," laughed Donna, noticing the picture had caught his attention, "yearbook picture day, junior year."

"You were a cheerleader?" He inquired, looking up from the box.

"Yes, but not a very popular one," she laughed again, removing a bundle of pictures from the box and shuffling through them, "my devotion was split between cheerleading and the drama club, that'll earn you a one way ticket to the bottom of the pyramid."

She handed him another two pictures, in the first, she stood perched on two other girls shoulders, one hand on her hip and the other raised high, pompoms in hand, "that was taken in sophomore year, about a month before I plucked up the courage to join the drama club." She remarked, "the other one," she showed him the second picture, and sure enough, there she was, exiled to the bottom of the pyramid, "was taken about a week after the cheer captain found out, girls can be such bitches."

"Probably just jealous," he smiled as he flicked through the rest of the pictures, "from the looks of these you were the prettiest girl in school."

"I won homecoming Queen, our senior year, they were not impressed." She handed him another picture, this time, her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail, tendrils of curls falling from the ribbon that held them back, her dress was emerald green, with a slit that showed just the right amount of skin for the early 90's. On her head, sat a sparkling gold tiara, a bouquet of roses clutched in her arms, she was laughing candidly at the camera, no doubt overcome with joy.

"Your life sounds like a bad teenage rom-com," he teased, "all you needed was a jock boyfriend and-"

He caught the look on her face, eyes laughing, biting her lip, "Well.." she giggled, her voice higher pitched then usual.

"You're kidding, really?"

"There was another reason those girls on the cheer squad didn't like me," she explained, "I also happened to be dating the quarterback." She handed him yet another picture, from the night of homecoming, a blond boy in his late teens was holding Donna, scooped up in his arms, a gold crown placed at an angle on his head.

"You certainly had the full high school experience," He smirked, placing the pile of pictures back in the box, "Well?" He questioned, earning a confused look from his girlfriend, "aren't you gonna ask what I was like in high school?"

"Hmm," she hummed, eyes narrowing as she studied his face, as though trying to reach into his mind and grab the memories for herself, "let me guess," she said finally, placing the lid back on her box of old pictures, "Baseball stud, probably team captain, always popular with the ladies, but could never seem to commit to a relationship, earned you a reputation as a mystery that no girl could solve, although plenty of them tried."

"How did you-?"

"I'm not finished," she cut him off, holding up a finger, "you never won prom or homecoming King, you acted like you were too cool to care, but really, you didn't have time for anything else because you were too busy secretly studying, one of those closet nerds, you surprised all your friends when you scored the highest in the class on your SATs and got into Harvard."

"I've said it before but," he placed his hands on her waist pulling her closer, resting his forehead on hers so that their noses kissed gently, "but you really do know me better than anyone else."

"That's right Mister," she replied, straddling his lap, hands cupping his face as she brought her lips to brush his, "and don't you ever forget it."


	7. Everything to Lose

**Chapter 7: One Step Ahead.**

 ** _A few days later…_**

The stall door swung closed behind Donna with a hollow thud that echoed around the seemingly empty restroom. She pressed the palms of her hands against the cool white marble surface of the sink, releasing a defeated sigh. Looking up, her own tired eyes stared back at her, the low lighting of the room cast dark shadows across her face, accentuating the grey bags under her eyes, her concealer fading away already.

She felt as if her body was punishing her, forcing her to starve, sending her into fits of staggering dizziness, usually accompanied by a cold sweat. Donna shook her head disapprovingly, digging through her purse for the touch-up make up kit she kept with her at all times.

The sound of a toilet flushing startled her, make up brush slipping through her fingers as she jumped, glancing at the mirror, only to see Gretchen emerge from the stall. She breathed a sigh of relief, steadying herself, before shooting her co-worker a bright smile.

"So," stated Gretchen, rinsing her hands beneath the tap, "how far along are you."

Donna froze, blusher brush hovering over her cheek bones, "excuse me?" She whispered.

"C'mon Donna, don't play dumb with me." Gretchen remarked, turning to face her, leaning an elbow on the ledge.

"I-" she paused, suddenly it all made sense, the most obvious explanation, yet somehow, it hadn't crossed her mind, "I'm pregnant," She breathed, a small smile growing across her lips as realisation swept through her body.

"I'm pregnant!" She all but yelled, throwing her arms around Gretchen's shoulders, pulling her into a hug.

"Well no shit Sherlock," she laughed, returning the embrace, "you're telling me that Donna Paulsen, _the_ Donna Paulsen, had no idea?"

"I guess," Donna pulled back lips still spread in a wide smile, shaking her head in disbelief, "I guess I've just been distracted with everything that's been going, it never even crossed my mind."

"So then I'll take it Mr Specter has no idea-"

"Harvey!" She exclaimed, "oh my god how should I tell Harvey? He's going to be so excited, well I hope he will-"

"He will." Gretchen reassured her, "now come on, you best go get yourself a pregnancy test, just to be sure."

XXX

"Hey Donna, Gretchen said you were looking for me?" Rachel smiled, as she stood in the doorway of her best friend's office

later that day.

"Yeah Rach-" Donna replied, she was seated behind her desk, looking down at her lap as she examined something out of sight, "I want to show you something, come over here." She coaxed.

Rachel rounded the desk, shooting her friend a quizzical look, "What's going on-" she stopped, jaw dropping to the floor, "is that-?"

"Yes." Donna replied.

"And it's yours?" Rachel asked, her face breaking into a huge smile.

"It is."

"Oh my God!" Rachel shrieked, pulling her friend into a tight hug, "I can't believe this!"

"Well believe it," Donna laughed, "I'm guessing I'm about two months!"

"This is amazing," Rachel squealed, beaming at the positive pregnancy test, "have you told Harvey?"

"Not yet," she winked, "I'm planning on telling him tonight, at the rooftop Gala, this is just the icing on the cake. But you're the first to know, apart from Gretchen, she caught me hurling my guts up in the bathroom this morning."

"This is so exciting," she squeezed her friend's hands, "I'm so happy for you Donna."

"Thank you Rach," she bit her lip, attempting to tame her ecstatic smile, "I still have so much work to do for the party tonight, trying to keep it a secret from Harvey has been almost impossible, as far as he knows, we're going to dinner and then to the theatre to celebrate his one year anniversary as Managing Partner."

"He's going to be so shocked."

"Hopefully! It's so hard to catch him off guard, but tonight.." she exhaled slowly, her eyes dropping to the plastic test in her hands, "tonight is going to be perfect."

XXX

"Hey, Mike?" Harvey called, spotting his former associate turned junior partner as he passed by the Managing Partner's office.

He turned on his heel, waltzing into his friend's office, "What's up Harvey, I'm pretty swamped at the minute so if you need help on a case I might have to-"

"It's not about that," Harvey cut in, gesturing to the couch, the two men sat down, "I have some news and it's pretty exciting-"

"You're retiring? God, finally, so when do I move into your office?" Mike joked.

"Very funny," Harvey shot him a disapproving look, "but this is serious."

"Ok, what is it?"

"I'm proposing to Donna, tonight." He said, his eyes glowing.

"What! Harvey that's incredible- wait," Mike dropped his voice suddenly to low whisper, "are you sure she's not listening right now? Hasn't she always listened to your private conversations?"

"It's ok, she's out for lunch with Rachel, I saw her leave five minutes ago."

"Wow Harvey, I'm so proud of you. Never thought I'd see the day." Mike replied, shaking his head.

"What? The day when I proposed to Donna?" Harvey asked, confused.

"Oh, no, I saw that coming the first day I started working at this firm," he laughed, Harvey rolled his eyes, "no I meant the day where you were finally one step ahead of Donna."

XXX

Donna pressed her manicured finger into the small plastic button of the intercom, "you ready to head home?" She asked, glancing at the clock, it was almost five thirty, Donna had convinced him to return home early with her so they could get ready, for what he thought was a night on broadway.

"Yeah just about, you really need three hours to get ready?" He whined, she could hear shuffling on the other end of the connection.

"Count yourself lucky it isn't more," she quipped, placing her belongings in her purse, when she looked up, Harvey was standing in the doorway, a bouquet of pink peonies in hand, Cheshire Cat smile spread across his face, "Harvey! You shouldn't have!"

"What?" He titled his head to the side, giving her a fleeting wink, "can't a man buy flowers for his girlfriend?"

"He can," she replied, narrowing her eyes, "but twice in one week? Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?"

"What do you mean twice in one week-? I didn't-" his eyes landed on the large bouquet of blooming red roses that were perched on the window sill.

Donna's brow furrowed, "then who-?" She trailed off, as her mind worked, the pieces all falling into place as sudden realisation sent goosebumps traveling over her skin.

It couldn't be.

She reached for the note, which had accompanied the gift. "H" it was signed with a H, an initial she had presumed to be Harvey's. Instead, she realised with a sickening jolt, the initial belonged to Hunter, Nick Hunter. She should have known, even the colour of the flowers, red, the name he'd called her on multiple occasions. Donna's stomach tightened and for the first time in days, it had nothing to do with her pregnancy. Her face paled noticeably.

"Is everything ok?" Harvey asked, approaching her desk, "you've gone quiet."

Donna snapped out of her daze, clasping her hands together in her lap to stop them shaking, "yes, everything's fine, sorry, I just spaced out for a second there." She smiled up at him, trying to reassure him, she didn't want anything, not even _him,_ to spoil the night ahead.

"Hey," he placed a finger under her chin, his thumb caressing her cheek softly, "if you don't feel like going out tonight it's ok, we can stay in if you want-?"

"No, really," she assured him, "I can't wait for tonight, it's going to be great."

"I love you." He replied, those three little words, she's heard so many times, that still ignite fireworks in her mind.

"I love you more."

"Impossible."

XXX

"Hello Handsome."

Harvey watched as his soon-to-be fiancé came into view behind him in the mirror, smirking as she watched him struggle with the bow tie of his tux. He turned to face her, admitting his defeat, the sight before him causing his heart to skip a beat.

Donna's hair fell over her bare shoulders in loose tendril curls, like red flames intertwining with one another. The deep emerald green of her dress seemed to give her hair and skin a goddess-like glow, the off the shoulder, sweet heart neck line leaving just enough to the imagination. The skirt of the gown grazed her ankles from behind, but the hemline grew shorter as it came to the front, stopping just in line with her knees, showing off her long cream legs, that just seemed to go on for ever.

But the detail that drew Harvey's attention, was the dainty chain that hung around her neck, a small emerald pendant resting on her chest. The necklace he'd bought her for Christmas.

"How is it possible, that you get more beautiful every time I see you."

She blushed, moving towards him, delicate fingers wrapping his bow tie into a perfect knot, she leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his parted lips, "you are one whipped man."

"That I am." He replied, running a hand through her hair.

"C'mon," she took his hand, leading him out of the bedroom, "Ray's waiting downstairs."

 **... to be continued! New chapter coming soon, let me know what you think in the reviews section, any theories on what happens next..?**

 **As always, thanks for reading and reviewing :) x**


	8. Chapter 8: Surprises

Chapter 8: Surprises

Donna watched absentmindedly as the twinkling lights of New York City passed her in a whirl of gold and white, her head rested in its favourite spot, on Harvey shoulder. His arm wrapped around her waist, giving her a reassuring sense of protection, that no one else could provide. Their fingers intertwined, thumbs tracing lazy circles on the others skin, as they watched the world slip past out side their window, content, as always, to imagine that they were the only two people in the world, the only two that mattered.

She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of him, as she snuggled closer, her free hand coming to rest on her stomach, as the realisation washed over her that now there was someone in the world that mattered more than both of them combined, the little life that grew inside her, simultaneously filling her with joy and fear, excitement and worry. The past didn't matter any more, all the hurt and pain, confusion and anxiety, it all seemed to melt away in the face of something so small yet so powerful.

Nothing would harm this little miracle, _their little miracle_. It was only now that she realised she hadn't understood true love until she had laid eyes on that little pink cross, confirming her suspicions. Since that moment, her love for both Harvey, and their baby had been increasing tenfold by the second, rolling over her in powerful waves of endorphins, treating her to a sense of euphoria she had never quite felt before. There was no sensation to compare to what she was currently feeling, and she couldn't wait to share it with the man who's heart beat currently thumped soothingly in her ear, a lullaby to her restless mind.

She felt him shift slightly beneath her, sitting up straight and glancing out the window, his brow creased into a small frown.

He clears his throat, "Em- Ray? You took the wrong turn, the restaurant's in the other direction- we're not going to the firm."

"Sorry Mr Specter," Ray replied, "I'm under direct orders from the boss."

"Who-?" And then it hit him, he sat back, turning to face the woman seated next to him, who now wore a cunning smile, batting her eyelashes at him with a slight tilt of her head, in feigned innocence.

"What are you up to Paulsen?"

"Me? Up to something?" She shook her head, placing a hand on her chest and widening her eyes, apparently insulted, "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

He raised an eyebrow, rolling his eyes in half annoyance, half amusement, "come on Donna, please?" He pouted, shooting her his infamous puppy-dog eyes.

It took all the strength and reserve she had not to melt under his gaze. Their was something spectacular about the way he looked at her. A simple glance was enough to make her feel as though she would be eternally happy. Far too often she found herself falling into the warmth of his chestnut brown irises, it was like they omitted a shine, designed especially for her, she just couldn't resist the urge to follow it.

She had to bite her lip to resist spilling it all there and then, the fake dinner plans, the party, _the baby_. With more difficulty then she'd care to admit, Donna tore her eyes away from his, relieved to be free of the trance, she settled her self against him once more.

"You'll just have to wait and see Specter."

XXX

The seconds passed like hours as they stood, rigid in the elevator, both eyeing the monitor as the numbers climbed at an agonisingly slow pace.

She could sense the complaint forming before the words had a chance to leave his mouth.

"Donna –"

She winced, letting out an agitated sigh at his lack of cooperation, it had taken ten minutes of negotiations to even get him into the elevator. Harvey insisting point blank that she tell him why they were here before he would set foot inside the building.

An attempt he knew to be futile, he knew just as well as she did that Donna had him wrapped around her little finger. What she says goes, "how does that saying go?" he thought, His mind wandering "Mr Right and Mrs Always Right"

A relatively new sensation had struck him in that moment, "MrMrs" in a matter of hours they would be on their way to becoming Mr and Mrs Specter. The sole thought alone was enough to make him follow her, blindly, towards the elevator doors.

"Donna, it's not a big ask, I just want to know what we're doing here, why can't you just-"

" _Shut up_." She bit back a laugh at his childishness, "I knew him were impatient but _God_."

She took his hand, her hazel eyes finding his, watching how his hardened expression softened under her gaze, "Don't you trust me?" She whispered.

"Of course I do."

They were gravitating towards each other, that unexplainable magnetic force which tied them pulling their lips closer until-

 ***ding***

They leaned back, turning their sights to the metal doors, as they opened, the scene before them leaving Donna almost as winded as Harvey.

Crowds of friends, family, co workers, and clients stood facing them, hundreds of familiar faces smiled down on them, the shining New York skyline acting as the stunning back drop for this picture perfect moment.

"Surprise!" The crowd chorused, raising their sparkling champagne flutes in a toast, to the Managing Partner.

"Surprise." Donna breathed, resting a hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention back to her.

She did this, she did all of this, for him. Even with all the stress she's been going through, she had done this, organised the party of the year, making yet another one of his dreams come true. The ghost of a memory, lost to time, crossed his mind, almost ten years ago now;

 _"When we make managing partner," the young associate bragged, as if the title were his birth right, "they'll throw me a party, a rooftop gala-"_

 _"Hold your horses mister," the red head chuckled, "we haven't even made partner yet, baby steps."_

 _"It'll be the party of the century, just you wait and see."_

 _"Who says I'll still be working for you by then?"She joked, knowing that no matter how hard she tried, she could never grow tired of him._

 _"We'll see about that Paulsen."_

 _"I'm sure we will Specter."_

He loved her, not a new revelation, no, but one that seemed to strike him at any given moment, rendering him awestruck at the very notion of her. He fell in love with her strength, her sincerity, her ability to read his mind, her courage to stand up to him, to guide him through every mistake. She was his haven, the only place he felt truly safe. And it was this realisation that prompted his next move.

Without a second thought he pulled her closer, crashing his lips down onto hers in the spur of the moment, leaning so far into the kiss that he felt her spine arch backwards on the palm of his hand, her hands gripping his biceps, pulling him in further. Cameras flashed like fire works in the background as every moment seemed to pass in slow motion.

The sound of cheering and wolf whistles broke the pair from their daze, lingering slightly as they begrudgingly pulled apart.

The crowd erupted in applause, the loudest of the cheers coming from none other then Mr and Mrs Ross.

In sync, as always, Donna and Harvey gave a mock bow and curtsy, grinning at each other like a couple of crushing teenagers as the guests began to filter back into the party, the band swinging back into action, smooth jazz filling the space, the playlist, hand picked by Donna, featured all of Gordon Specter's greatest hits.

The party roared on, Donna and Harvey finding themselves swept apart by hosting duties as a couple of hours crawled past.

Harvey was receiving his umpteenth congratulations from a colleague who's name he could hardly recall, when Mike suddenly swooped in to save the day.

"So sorry Carl, I just need to steal Harvey for a moment." He took him by the elbow, pulling him away.

"Thank God." Harvey scoffed.

"When are you planning on popping the question?" Mike asked, handing him another glass of champagne.

"Well it doesn't help that I haven't so much as seen Donna in the last two hours-"

"We're here!" Rachel exclaimed, pulling Donna along behind her, having just rescued her from a similar, boring conversation.

"Hey." He smiled, taking in her beauty for the hundredth time that evening.

"Hi." She blushed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"We'll leave you two kids alone." Mike smirked, taking Rachel's hand as they faded back into the crowds, just as the music mellowed to a slower pulse, a familiar song, that Harvey immediately recognised as the very one they had danced too on the night of Mike and Rachel's wedding.

He extended his hand, "what do you say?" He titled his head towards the almost empty dance floor.

She placed her soft hand in his, "Don't mind if I do."

She led him towards the centre of the floor, placing her hands on his shoulders as his came to rest on her waist. They swayed in silence to the music, their cheeks coming to rest side by side as the tip of her nose teased his jaw. Cherishing the peace in each other's presence. Their world moved so fast, and lately, with all the heartache and chaos they'd been through, these stolen moments of quiet had become even more precious, like a breath of fresh air after years trapped under ground.

"I have something to tell you." They both breathed, giggling at their synchronicity.

"You first." Donna whispered, leaning back ever so slightly so that her forehead kissed his.

He took a breath composing himself, the reality of what he was about to do striking him square in the chest "I've always known," he began, "I think I've always known that I loved you. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel this way about you, every time I see you, touch you, it hits me all over again, I can't escape it – I don't want to."

He hears her breath catch in her throat, as she absorbs his words. He's about to move his hand to his pocket, to reveal the dainty velvet box, but stops short, a sudden realisation flowing over him. He doesn't want to do it now, not like this, not with an audience. He'll wait, until it's just the two of them, the way it should be. But that doesn't stop the flood words that continue to fall from his lips.

"I want you to know, that whatever your past and whatever _our_ future, I'm always going to love you the way I do tonight, unconditionally, wholeheartedly, no matter what has happened or will happened, I want you to remember this moment, this night, the way I couldn't keep my eyes off you, the way you consumed like you always do."

She felt hot tears burning in her eyes as the beauty of his sentiment washed over her, "every time," she choked, smiling, "every time I think I couldn't love you anymore than I already do, you manage to prove me wrong Harvey."

"Long may it last." He breathed.

She laid her head on top of his shoulder "Long may it last."

They continued to sway for a few more moments, lost in each other, letting the crowds slip away as they always did, until it was only the two together, until Harvey finally spoke, "what is it you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh I-"

"Excuse me, Ms Paulsen?" They were awoken from their trance to find a young man standing behind Donna, looking slightly intimidated.

"Yes?" Donna replied, faking a polite smile, although ready to strangle the man for his interruption.

"So sorry to intrude, but I just ran into Mr Litt on his way to the elevators, he was very upset, absolutely distraught, and well, he was asking for you-"

She sighed, closing her eyes in both sympathy and annoyance, she turned to Harvey, "I should probably go check on him."

"It's ok," he squeezed her hand, "go, we'll talk when you get back."

"Give me ten minutes," she shot him an apologetic smile, before returning her gaze to the young man, "where did you say he was heading..?"

XXX

"Louis?" Donna called as she roamed the empty halls of the firm, dimly lit by the city night sky, "Louis, where are you?"

She had already checked the restroom and Louis's office, as well as Harvey's and her own, the man was no where to be found. The clicking of her heels against the marble floor echoed loudly around the deserted corridors, as she searched room after room, passing by her old desk, running her fingers along the surface as she smiled at the memories.

She turned the corner to the bull pen, half expecting to find him sobbing at his old desk, she hoped to God he and Sheila hadn't had another fight, shes not sure how much longer she can play at couples counsellor. But the bull pen was as bare as the rest of the firm had been.

"C'mon Louis," she called out, "I'm just trying to help, where are – ah ha."

Her eyes landed on the double doors at the end of the hall way, one of them slightly ajar, she should have known he'd be there, how many times had he taken refuge in that very spot over the past few years.

The file room. How did she not think of it sooner.

She reached for the handle of the door, and for the first time in weeks, she forgot about the dread that this room instilled in her.

Pushing the door open further she slipped in, scanning the darkness for her friend, "damn it Louis," she huffed, "you could've at least turned the lights on."

She fumbled around in the pitch black, cursing the placement of the light switch on the far wall.

She heard movement behind her, the door seemed to have drifted closed of its own accord, leaving her utterly enveloped in darkness, "Louis, you're gonna have to come to me, I can't see a thing-"

She jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder, body turning to stone, the bitter taste of panic rose in her throat, her veins flushed with ice as she felt a breath on her neck.

Her sixth sense seemed to screamed, _**run**_.

"Surprise Red."


	9. Chapter 9: Not like before

_**Chapter 9: Not Like Before**_

 _She fumbled around in the pitch black, cursing the placement of the light switch on the far wall._

 _She heard movement behind her, the door seemed to have drifted closed of its own accord, leaving her utterly enveloped in darkness, "Louis, you're gonna have to come to me, I can't see a thing-"_

 _She jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder, body turning to stone, her veins flushed with ice as she felt a breath on her neck._

 _Her sixth sense seemed to screamed,_ run.

 _"Surprise Red."_

Despite herself, a gasp escaped her throat as her body clenched, shock striking her momentarily non-responsive, as her mind turned, processing a situation she had hoped she would never find her self in again, analysing her admittedly limited options.

She felt the back of his callous hand tracing its way down her forearm, sending an agonising chill shooting through her spine, but as his other hand closed around her opposite wrist, she felt a fire ignite low down in her chest, melting the icy fear that had frozen her to the spot, only to be replaced by pure red fury.

She prepared to lash out, taking a deep breath, readying herself for a fight, she would not lose this time. He would never get the better of her again, she would fight to the death to resist defeat.

But, as if on cue, his wandering hand brushed her stomach, suddenly reminding her of the small, barely there bump, causing the fire of fury to die down, replaced by an anxious squirm in the pit of her stomach, the desire to offend quickly overcome with the need to defend. Their little miracle needed protection, and a fight was far to risky.

She was _Donna_ , her mind was her greatest weapon, and she intended to use it.

" _Nick_ ," she spoke calmly, successfully disguising the slight shake in her voice, "let me go."

"Ah, at last, she speaks."

Donna wriggled her wrist, testing his grip. To her surprise it loosened, as he released her. She turned slowly to face him, taking in the outline of his silhouette, his hands raised level to his head in mock surrender. She silently thanked the darkness for impairing her view of those cold, terrifying eyes. Although even in the pitch black she could still make out some of his features, more familiar to her then she'd care to admit, his face forever seared in her memory. His angular jawline decorated but a dusting of stubble, his dark thick eyebrows, menacing to say the least. His short black hair, which she imagined to be greying slightly with the passing of time. He stood at roughly the same height as her in heels, perhaps a little smaller.

"What do you want?" She asked point blank, crossing her arms purposefully over her stomach.

"Always straight to the point with you," he scoffed, taking a small step closer, which she mimicked, stepping backwards, "no, how have you been Nick? What have you been up to?"

She remained silent, her stare burning a hole in the wall behind him, as she glared determinedly over his shoulder.

"Well, as for what I want," he took another pace forward, but she didn't retreat this time, facing him head on, "as I'm sure you remember, I want lots of things, and I always get what I want." He reached to brush her cheek, but she promptly swatted his hand away, in the heat of the moment, her reserve faltered, striking him hard across the face in return.

A move she instantly regretted.

His hand went to the back of her head, gripping a mess of curls as he pulled her head back sharply. She struggled, but it only caused his hold to tighten.

"Nick," she reasoned, clinging to her last ounce of reason, "it doesn't have to be like this – just let me go, you can still walk out of here, you can stop this, just-"

The air was knocked from her lungs as he threw her backwards with a low blow to her abdomen, her head striking the end of table leg as she fell painfully on her back. She hissed as her head throbbed, immediately moving a protective hand to her stomach.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

XXX

 ** _Meanwhile, on the roof…_**

Harvey Specter stood idle, swirling a glass half full of sparkling champagne around as he watched the crowds roar past, the space filled with laughter, chattering, the clinking of crystal flutes, the low hum of the music, all turning to white noise as it fell on Harvey's ears.

His eyes searched the crowd for her. Scanning for a streak of red among the sea of heads. It had been almost twenty minutes since she'd run off in aid of Louis, _give me ten minutes_ , her words echoed in his mind as he glanced at his watch for the umpteenth time, frowning at the Rolex as if he expected it to give him the answers as to why she had not returned yet.

"Mr Specter?"

Harvey turned to see Benjamin, the young man from the IT department, standing nervously in front of him, "I just wanted to congratulate you.. em.." he shifted awkwardly, as shy as ever.

"Thanks Benjamin." Harvey replied with a small nod.

"Where's Donna?"

"Oh, well someone told us Louis was upset so, she went to see what was up with him, you know how he gets.."

"That's odd," he mused, "I saw Mr Litt leave just over an hour ago with his fiancé, I over heard something about Ms Sazs having a migraine.."

"What? Really?" Harvey's Brow creased in confusion. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Louis or Shelia since they arrived almost four hours ago, and it wasn't like either of the pair to sit on the sidelines of a party, always at the centre of the action, mingling, dancing, chatting.

Something wasn't right. Why wouldn't Donna have returned if she couldn't find Louis downstairs?

"I- em, I have to go." Harvey mumbled, placing his champagne flute clumsily on the bar, spilling almost all of what remained.

He hurried off in the direction of the elevator, leaving a bemused and somewhat curious Benjamin standing alone.

Harvey pushed his way through the vast crowd, ignoring shouts of congratulations and greetings he received from nameless guests.

Call it telepathy, instinct, intuition, but he knew there was something wrong, it was almost as if he could hear her call out to him from where ever she was.

He had to find her.

XXX

Her head spun, tiny bursts of colour distorting her vision, already impaired by the pitch black dark of the room. With some difficulty, she reached up and grasped the corner of the table, pulling herself to her feet, scanning the darkness, locating the thin ribbon of light that escaped from the crack in the door.

But her heart sank as she realised that in the unlikely event she did make it to the door, she would never get to the elevator before he caught her, it would be a game of cat and mouse, and she didn't like those odds. Her heart beat a little faster as panic began to overwhelm any sense of reason or calm she had tried so desperately to hold on to.

It was fight or flight, and flight didn't seem to be an option anymore.

She turned on her heel, gulping as she faced him, "I'm going to walk out of here," she began, raising her hands defensively, "I'll return to the party, act like nothing happened-"

Without warning he took hold of her upper arms, forcing her backwards until her back collided with the metal bones of the shelving until. She whined, her already aching torso complaining from the sudden impact, another dose of dizziness taking its toll.

"For an actress," he laughed, one hand brushing the tangles of red hair from her face, earning a cringe from Donna, while the other closed threateningly around her throat, "you always were a terrible liar."

" _I'm sorry,"_ he mimicked the words she had spoken to him all those years ago, when she'd turned down his offers for the fourth or fifith time, " _I'm just not interested in you like that._ We both know you we're just playing hard to get, you just love a chase don't you."

"No," she shook her head, "Nick, no means **no**. You can't justify what you did to me, you _raped me._ I was never interested in you, I went out with you out of pity, thinking that at the very least we could be friends, that's my mistake for always trying to see the best in people."

There it was, the flicker in his eye she feared, that glimmer of evil, of _anger._

His grip around her neck tightened slightly as she squirmed, "please," the last thing she had wanted to do was beg, but she could see no other option.

"Please," she gasped for air as his hold loosened, only to close again, stronger this time, " _please, I'm_ _pregnant_ " she choked.

For a split second, his menacing gaze seemed to falter, thrown off guard by the unexpected admission, but his eyes soon narrowed again, "maybe you aren't such a bad actress, I can't decide if you're telling the truth or not."

For a moment, Donna thought that he might actually let her go, that she – _they_ , would make it out of this relatively unharmed. But then she felt him push her further back against the cold metal cage behind her, his elbow resting purposefully on her chest, a familiar crushing sensation burning her lungs.

She struck out with all her energy, struggling with every shred of power she could muster, but her body screamed out for air, her muscles felt limp. Her eyes widened, as she pleaded with him silently.

"You think I care?" He laughed, his face coming so close to her own that she could feel his breath on her lips, as if he was teasing her, the lack of oxygen beginning to take effect, "you are _nothing_ to me, just a thing, something you use when you need it, and throw away when you're done. I used you all those years ago, it back fired on me, but not this time, this time, I'll win, and you're going to help me with that," she felt his free hand trailing up her thigh, lifting her skirt, inch by inch, she felt the hot tears that she'd been holding back sting her cheeks as they fell, "but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun along the way."

Just like before.

Just like before, he had her under his control, helpless, the one thing she promised herself she would never be. Just like before, his grip was too tight to escape. Just like before, his every touch seemed to burn her skin and turn her veins to ice all at once. Just like before, the world around her seemed to blur, leaving her isolated. Just like before, she couldn't breathe, the crushing sensation on her chest escalating her state of pure panic. Just like before, she wanted to run, but her body wouldn't respond. Just like before, she felt consciousness slipping through her fingers as her eyelids became painfully heavy. Just like before, she was ready to give up.

But then, in the blur of darkness she saw a flash of light, like a weak beacon of hope and she heard a distant bang of a door.

 _Not like before_ , _Harvey had come for her_.

She felt the suffocating weight of her attacker's body pulled from her, without him to trap her against the shelving she fell to her knees, her body weak and tired from oxygen deprivation. She choked, alarmed when she tasted coppery blood in her mouth as she coughed harshly. She gasped loudly, resting forward on the palms of her hands as her lungs learned to breath again, inhaling sharply, almost afraid to exhale, anxious that every breath would be her last.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion from there on wards, all she could hear was the throbbing of her pulse in her head as she willed her surroundings to stop spinning.

To the left she thought she heard disjointed shouts, with great effort, Donna turned her head in the direction of the commotion, she thought she could make out the shape of two bodies, struggling with one another.

"Har-vey-" she choked, the sound was barely there, her throat raw, she tried to stand, but her muscles rejected her mind's requested, falling to the floor again, her limbs felt like lead.

Out of the darkness she felt hands grip her shoulders, helping her to her feet, _thank god_ , she thought, _help was here_.

But her flame of hope was quickly distinguished, as the stranger pulled her up roughly so that her back rested against his chest. His hand grabbed at her hair, pulling her head back and eliciting a yelp of pain as her aching neck was forced back wards at an awkward angle, worse still, she became aware of a sharp object pressing dangerously against the soft skin of her throat.

She struggled pointlessly against the second attacker's hold, "Harvey!" She tried again, this time louder, more desperate, her voice recovering slightly from the assault, although every sound still stung.

Her surroundings were beginning to come into focus, she could see Harvey out of the corner of her eye, he was holding Nick pinned against the far wall of the room, for a moment she allowed her self to be proud that he had undermined her attacker.

"Stand down Specter, or I'll slice her throat." A gruff voice came from behind her, she whimpered as she felt the tip of the knife pierce her skin leaving behind a shallow cut.

"Donna-" the waver in his voice made her heart shatter, she watched as he took a begrudging step back from Nick, raising his arms in surrender, his eyes on Donna at all times.

"Well well well," Nick crooned, wiping the blood from his lip as he rounded Harvey, returning to both Donna's and her captor's side, Donna's stomach lurched as he removed a small hand gun from his pocket, "isn't this an interesting turn of events."

 **XXX**

 **Thanks for reading! If you liked it/loved it/hated it please leave a review and let me know! I love to hear your thoughts and theories!**

 **Chapter 10 coming soon...**

 **As always, thanks for the support!**

 **Jess xx**


	10. Chapter 10: Sacrifice

**_Chapter 10: Sacrifice_**

 _"Stand down Specter, or I'll slice her throat." A gruff voice came from behind her, she whimpered as she felt the tip of the knife pierce her skin leaving behind a shallow cut._

 _"Donna-" the waver in his voice made her heart shatter, she watched as he took a begrudging step back from Nick, raising his arms in surrender, his eyes on Donna at all times._

 _"Well well well," Nick crooned, wiping the blood from his lip as he rounded Harvey, returning to both Donna's and her captor's side, Donna's stomach lurched as he removed a small hand gun from his pocket,"isn't this an interesting turn of events."_

Harvey's breath caught in his throat as his mind caught up with the reality of the situation at hand, flipping into lawyer-mode, the wheels of his brain turning at a mile a minute as he calculated his odds at victory;

His opponents; two men, both of roughly the same height and build, a hand gun, a knife, which was currently holding his kryptonite hostage. Donna was the only apparent leverage in this negotiation, and unfortunately, the opposition held all the cards.

With a cold prickling sensation, he felt icy beads of sweat forming at his hairline, his heart beat accelerating by the second, his muscles stiffening as his chest constricted in a way all to familiar to him. He had to keep the anxiety at bay, for her.

She was his everything, his light in the darkness, the remedy to his pain, the only cure he knew to be true. Without her he is lost, there is no Harvey without Donna, he's dependent on her existence, thrives on her happiness, lives to see her smile, laugh. She is his everything, and he can't lose her, not now, not ever.

He swallows the fear rising in his throat, "let her go," he growls, his head tilted low, eyes now shifted from Donna's trembling form, to those of the man he presumes to be Nick, "please."

Nick considers him, his eyes narrowing into slits as he smirks, "I'm a reasonably man," to Harvey's astonishment, Nick nods at the second man, signalling him to release Donna, her captor looks confused, glancing from Harvey to his boss, "it's alright Damien," He reasons, raising the gun level with Harvey's head, "I trust Harv here won't do anything stupid?"

He directed the remark at Harvey, titling his head, speaking in a mock voice like a parent warning a child. Harvey clenched his jaw, before nodding with a slight upward jerk of his chin.

Finally, Damien relented, but as soon as he released his hold on the redhead, she swayed and crumbled to the ground yet again, her legs numb in her four inch heels, adrenaline and fear ringing sharply in her ears, making her vision swim, she breathed deeply, one hand balled into a fist, clutching at the prickly fibres of the carpet, trying desperately ground her self, the other hand went to her neck, delicately scoping the damaged skin, her breath hitching as she felt the warm trickle of blood wet her finger tips. She chanced a glance upwards, meeting Harvey's alarmed eyes as he lurched forward.

"Don-"

"What'd I tell you?" Nick spat, stepping in front of Donna, obscuring her view of her boyfriend, she was worried for him, she could see the panic growing in him, radiating from his skin, the tell-tale signs of an attack not apparent to anyone else but her.

 _I'm okay_. She mouthed at him, willing him to believe her, to remain calm, though her shallow breathing and shaking arms told another story.

"Just-" Harvey choked, "just let me help her up - she can't –"

"Not to worry Harvey-" Nick feigned sympathy, handing the gun to his partner, who, in turn, trained it on Harvey's chest, "I'll take care of her for you.." he squatted down next to her, reaching a hand to brush the wild curls from Donna's face.

" _Don't fucking touch me_." She seethed, cringing away from him, and despite the severity of their dilemma, Harvey couldn't help his heart swelling with pride.

Nick scoffed, a dry mocking laugh, "you still haven't learned your lesson have you Red?" He taunted, he gripped her jaw, turning her face towards his, as his other hand fisted around her wrist, pulling an unsteady Donna to her feet, "I blame Harvey for that," he hissed, dragging her agonisingly close to his own face, "he's spoiled you, given you delusions of grandeur by promoting you to COO, you've forgotten how to do what you're told, like a good secretary."

Harvey felt his face burn, anger rolling from his skin, his hands balled so tightly into firsts at his side, that his finger nails drew blood from the palms of his hands. It took every ounce of self control he had not to lunge at Hunter, all too aware of the barrel of the gun that was pointed in his direction. He took a deep breath, preparing to berate Nick, but before he could speak, Donna retaliated yet again.

"I'm in my position because I _fucking earned it_ ," she spat, never breaking eye contact with her attacker, "and I won't allow pathetic misogynistic pigs like you tell me other wise, now, _get your hands off me_." In sync with her words, she sharply brought her knee up, connecting excruciatingly with his groin, and eliciting a groan of pain from Nick, as he doubled over, releasing his painful grip on her.

On instinct, Donna and Harvey lurched for each other, she stumbled towards him, grabbing hold of his fore arms, clinging to them for support, his hands flew over her body, checking for injuries, his worried eyes scanning her tear streaked face, pale and ghostly, in contrast with the little cluster of blue-black that tinted her cheek bone, his gaze traveled to her neck, red marks, slowly morphing to bruises covered the soft skin, along with the trickles of drying blood spreading from the small yet seemingly deep cut In the centre of her throat, that spilled down onto her chest, like a menacing web.

"Step back." Damien ordered, pointing the gun between the pair. They barely heard him, too concerned with one another.

"Donna-" he croaked, his hands shaking as he cupped her face gently, willing himself not to break down in panic and despair, he could feel it creeping in on him, fighting a losing battle with an imminent panic attack.

"Hey, hey," she whispered sympathetically, placing a hand on his chest, his heart beating at an alarmingly fast rate, "I'm here, but I'm only okay if you are," she rested a hand against his cheek, coaxing his eyes back to hers, she mustered a sad smile, "I need you to pull it together Specter, okay?"

He nodded, gulping, "okay-"

"That's enough!" Damien's voice boomed around the room.

Donna's eyes widened as she felt something cold and hard pressed to the back of her skull, her body tensing with fear, she could take a good guess at what it was, "Take a step back Specter, or you know what happens next."

Without breaking eye contact with Donna, Harvey took a slow, measured step backwards, reluctantly letting go of her hand. The loss of contact shook them both, the safety they had felt in each other's arms evaporating, replaced once again by utter terror at the thought of losing one another.

Donna sensed movement behind her, "I think we've had enough messing about," came Nick's voice, the playful, mocking approach he had used earlier was gone, the menacing, dark tone that Donna remembered all too well, now in place. She fisted at the material of her skirt to stop her hands from shaking, "let's move this meeting to somewhere a little more.." She could feel his breath on the side of her face, making her insides squirm, "..comfortable."

XXX

On the rooftop, the party was still in full swing, the absence of the guest of honour seemed to go unnoticed, by all but two. Mike and Rachel had scoured the crowd, searching for their best friends, presuming that Harvey had already proposed and excited to celebrate the engagement with the pair. But the happy couple were no where to be seen.

"Where could they be?" Rachel wondered aloud, sighing as she leaned back against the table.

"Maybe they wanted a bit of privacy to – eh – celebrate?" Mike mused, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"At the office?" Rachel replied, disbelievingly, "doesn't really seem like their style."

Mike laughed, knowingly, "you'd be surprised.."

"You didn't!?" Rachel exclaimed.

"Unfortunately, I did."

"You walked in in them? What! When?"

"In the executive kitchen a couple of weeks ago, it was like walking in on your mom and dad," Mike shook his head, "thankfully, I backed up before they noticed me, managed to avoid them giving me _the_ _talk_ afterwards."

The married couple burst out in fits of giggles, earning a few confused looks from passing guests.

"I guess we should leave them too it then." Rachel chuckled, out of breath from laughing.

"I guess we should," Mike agreed, reaching for Rachel's empty glass, "I'll go get you another drink."

On his way to the bar, Mike ran into a rather flustered looking Benjamin.

"Hey Benjamin, have you seen Harvey or Donna around at all?"

"That's just why I came looking for you," he choked out, "both of them left the party in a hurry a while ago, I thought it seemed strange, but then I got an alert on my phone and – shit-"

"What is it?" Mike asked, confused.

"I have access to the new security cameras that Harvey had installed after the accident in the file room the other week, it alerts me when there's unusual activity after hours –"

"What's going on Benjamin..?"

"Donna and Harvey – they're in trouble."

XXX

Donna grumbled disapprovingly as she was shoved none to gently into one of the

leather chairs facing Harvey's desk in his elaborate office. Her wrists had been restricted behind her back by a sharp plastic cable tie, throwing her balance off as she was forced to sit, her hip bashing painfully into the metal arm rest. She wriggled her hands, hoping to loosen the uncomfortable bonds, but no such luck, her struggling resulted in the wire rubbing her skin raw, the more she moved, the tighter the restraints seemed to feel.

Her eyes darted around the room, landing on a disgruntled Harvey, who had been placed at the far side of the room on the couch by Damien, the Brutish man leaned back against the window sill, his gun once again trained on Harvey, his finger playing with the trigger as he watched Donna squirm with anxiety, the need to protect him overwhelming. She noticed that Harvey's hands had been tied at his front, unlike Donna's behind her back, she couldn't help but envy him for it.

"Now that we're all settled," Nick's low voice came from behind Donna, she disguised a shiver as she felt a callous hand come to rest on her shoulder, she hated the possessive way he touched her, "it's about time we got down to business."

"What the hell do you want Hunter?" Harvey growled, Donna could see he was growing impatient of his pretence, he wasn't the only one, she watched as his brown eyes darted from her to her captor, softening when they met her gaze, only to turn cold and threatening when they returned to the latter.

"All in good time Harv," he mocked, squeezing Donna's skin, the close proximity of his hand to her throat causing her to recoil at the memory of their earlier encounter. He released, rounding the desk and taking a seat in Harvey's chair, his hands folded casually in his lap, a fake smile graced his lips, "but first, I hear there are congratulations in order,"

Donna and Harvey shared a confused frown, baffled as to why Nick would congratulate Harvey on his achievement as managing partner, but his next words caused Donna to bite her lip, as she tensed in realisation.

"I have to say Harvey, when Donna told me, I was surprised, I never imagined you to be the fathering type, but nonetheless, I'm sure you're both very excited-"

"What the hell are you talking about-"

Harvey's eyes widened as he connected the dots, he glanced back to his girlfriend disbelievingly, one look in her eyes was enough to confirm his suspicions, "you're – pregnant?"

She nodded, pressing her lips together in a sad smile, screwing her eyes shut. This was not how she wanted to tell him, a mixture of fury and sadness brewed low down in her chest, as she forced her self to meet his gaze again. Her heart shattered, all she saw written across his face, was hurt.

"Oh dear," Nick smirked, revelling in the pain he'd caused, "I've really put my foot in it haven't I?" His voice dripping with sarcasm, "I guess you two aren't as close as everyone seems to think."

Donna ignored him, she focused only on Harvey, her mind strained with effort, hoping against hope that he would read her thoughts, _I was going to tell you, don't let him get to you._

"Enough-" Harvey mumbled, bowing his head, but Donna caught sight of the lone tear tracing down his cheek, "get on with it Hunter, what do you want?"

"Well," Nick began, pouring himself a tumbler of scotch and settling back down into Harvey's desk chair, "despite Red's best efforts," he gestured across the table, earning a deathly glare from Donna, "I managed to graduate and pass the bar, my father had to pull a few strings and get me transferred to Oxford, after a certain _rumour_ got me expelled from Yale."

Donna gave a bitter laugh "You're lucky I didn't press charges – I _should_ have pressed charges-"

Nick scoffed, "please, pressed charges for what exactly? We had a great time, you were just bitter that you were too drunk to remember it-"

Harvey's fists burned to connect with his skull.

"You drugged me, you sick son of a –"

"That's enough!" Nick bellowed, jumping from his seat and slamming his hands down om the desk, so forceful Donna was shocked it didn't shatter. He took a breath, composing himself, before relaxing back into his chair, "as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.."

"I spent a long time working in Europe, met a lot of interesting people, one of which offered me a job I just couldn't refuse." Donna could feel his eyes on her, singeing her skin, but she kept her gaze trained on the gun pointed at her boyfriend's head.

"The job was quite complicated really, this particular friend of mine owned a large chain of law firms in main land Europe, but, as he put it, he was looking for a change, a challenge, and it just so happened that New York City, was that challenge. He wanted me, to take down the top firm in New York, to make way for his own, and in exchange, I would take over in Europe."

Harvey shifted uncomfortably, he had a fair idea of where this was going, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Like I said, the task seemed almost impossible, and I was almost certain I wouldn't take it, but then low and behold, I return to New York for a visit to my parents and what lands in my lap one morning? Only the latest edition of the New York Times, and beaming up at me on the cover? _Donna Paulsen and Harvey Specter, NYC Power Couple_ , I believe was the headline. I'm a superstitious man, and this just seemed to me as if fate had slapped me across the face with an opportunity, so naturally I took it."

"So it was you all along?" Harvey stated blankly, "the associates jumping ship, the lawsuits, the threats?"

"Well done Sherlock, you've cracked the case." Nick teased, "you really made it so easy for me as well, and don't get me started on your security, it's next to nonexistent."

Harvey had to resist from glancing at the the new CCTV camera just out side his office, one of many he had had installed after Donna's incident in the file room.

"So, I have a riddle for you," Nick stood from his perch in Harvey's chair, strutting across the office in the managing partner's direction, crouching down before him, placing his hands on his knees and eyeing him in a condescending manner, "how do you get a managing partner to dissolve his firm?"

Harvey stared him down, the fire of fury behind his eyes growing steadily to an explosion, he remained silent, trying with all his might to disguise his inner anxiety. He was certain he knew where this was going.

"Well it's easy," Nick crooned, straightening up, he turned, closing in on the other hostage, "the answer," Donna inhaled sharply in an attempt to hide a slight whimper of fear as Nick stalked closer. She exhaled, regaining her composure, sitting up straight, chin raised defiantly, feigning courage, when inside her heart raced and her veins turned to ice. He leaned down, resting the palms of his hands on the arms of the chair, caging her in, daunting green eyes testing her ability to remain calm, "is Ms Donna Paulsen."

At that, she faltered, turning her head to the side, shifting backwards in the chair, allowing her eyes to cast downwards, her long eyelashes protecting her from his intruding gaze, counting the fibres of dust on the carpet, to distract herself from the feeling of his hand, trailing slowly up her thigh, fingernails grazing the soft skin. His face loomed closer, lips barely skimming then contours of her jawline, the touch enough to elicit a shudder from Donna, as she let a stifled sob fall from her lips.

"Get your hands off her." Harvey growled, his voice low, more threatening than if he had yelled. His head seemed to spin with a whirl wind of overwhelming emotions, fear, for his life and more importantly Donna's, panic, that he wouldn't be able to save them, hurt, that she hadn't told him about her pregnancy, but above all, pure rage, that Hunter had harmed her and of course the little life he hadn't known existed.

"These are my terms," Hunter stated, slowly pulling back, but Harvey didn't miss the way his hand lingered on Donna's knee, "you sign this contract," he removed a document from the inner pocket of his suit jacket, and placed it on the coffee table in front of Harvey "which dissolves the existence of Specter Litt."

"I don't have the authority to do that," Harvey bluffed, hoping he would fall for it, "I need the approval of the senior partners and-"

"Nice try Harvey," Hunter smirked, "looks like some one needs to read up on their bi-laws, I know for a fact that the managing partner has the sole responsibility to end the firm's continuity of existence."

Harvey grimaced, his mind raced with possible solutions, none seemed viable. He had always told Mike that when someone holds a gun to your head there's over 100 ways to escape. But this time the gun wasn't just to his head, he couldn't risk getting shot and leaving Donna alone with this psychopath.

He held his bound hands out, waiting for a pen, when suddenly her voice caused his head to snap up.

"Harvey don't!" Donna pleaded, "you can't – don't!"

"Ah yes," Nick smiled, turning slightly to face Donna, "thanks for reminding me Red, I'd almost forgotten your role to play in this deal."

Harvey cursed Donna internally for bringing the focus back to her. Their mutual need to protect one another had always been their most fatal flaw. Both willing to sacrifice themselves for the others safety, at the cost of the latter's peace of mind.

"Let me just warn you what happens if you refuse to sign or try anything funny," Nick smiled smuggly, "Donna and I will take a little trip down to the basement car park, where one of my guys is waiting patiently in our car to take us some place…. nice – and – well, I think you know where I'm going with this.."

Harvey gulped, his throat dry and sore from the stress, this time, Donna was silent, her and Harvey's gaze met for the umpteenth time that night. She looked shaken, noticeably paler, the angry red that had flushed her cheeks only moments ago had drained from her face, her eyes were widened in what Harvey couldn't distinguish between shock and fear, sickening memories seemed to haunt her eyes. His features softened, overwhelmed with empathy. Over his dead body would he allow anything like that to happen to her again.

Donna willed herself to stay in the moment, trying so hard to block out the flashbacks that seemed to dance across her mind's eye, pictures clicking past, like an old film, a harsh reminder that Nick's threats weren't empty, materialised by the few terrible memories she had of that night.

She needed to concentrate, Harvey needed her present. She refocused her vision on him, the look on his face seemed to reassure her, _not this time, you're safe, I promise._

"Give me the pen." Harvey croaked, finally admitting defeat.

He manoeuvred his bound wrists, gripping the biro at an awkward angle, the slight tremor in his hand making it more difficult. He hesitated, pressing the tip of the pen into the page, suddenly overwhelmed with the severity of what he was about to do.

There was a time when this firm was his everything. His whole life contained within the confines of its glass panelled walls, being here, working, winning, it made him feel alive, pushed him to keep on fighting, feeling at last as though he had found its purpose. It was only when he began to draw closer to the people around him that his perspective started to change, things became more complicated, his colleagues became friends, and friends became family. And suddenly, he found his mantra "caring makes you weak." Dissolving day after day. He thought about Jessica, Louis, Mike, Rachel, _Donna_. How they taught I'm to care again, to build relationships, to love. This firm was the heart of their family. But it wasn't that simple anymore, sometimes you have to sacrifice the things that matter, to protect the people that matter.

With a trembling hand, he scrolled his signature on line, barely legible, thanks to his restraints. In an instant, Nick swiped it from the glass table, after scrutinising the signature, he placed the document securely in his chest pocket, seemingly satisfied, "pleasure doing business with you Harvey."

"You got what you wanted, now let us go." Harvey replied, his time cold, holding up his bound wrists.

"Ah, one slight problem," Nick nodded at Damien, who crossed the room quickly, Harvey's eyes darted from Damien, to Donna, to Nick, frantic, as his heart beat began to pick up again, feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins, "did I forget to mention? See, Donna here, has another very important role to play in this negotiation…"

"That wasn't the deal!" Harvey bellowed.

"It's my fault really, I should have mentioned it," Nick replied, the insincere apology making Harvey's blood boil, his face flushed with frustration, "Donna, is my… let's say, insurance policy, she comes with us – just for a couple hours – until the deal goes through, if you call the police before then.. well, you're a smart man, I'm sure you can figure it out.."

Harvey's next argument was on the tip of his tongue, when the sound of a distressed Donna caught his attention.

"Get off me!"

Damien had dragged Donna from her perch on the leather chair, his arm wrapped around her torso, her hands were still restricted behind her back making it more difficult for to struggle, but Donna being Donna, that didn't stop her from trying. She twisted and squirmed, her breath hitching, trying hard to keep reality at bay and focus on escaping. She brought her heeled foot down on his, stabbing without mercy. Damien gasped in pain, momentarily releasing Donna. She took her opportunity, one she knew to be futile, lunging for the door. However, she was thrown off balance with her arms restrained, she tripped, falling to the floor with a small thump, grunting as she landed on her side, her shoulder screaming at the impact, her head fuzzy from the sudden fall.

Before she could recover, she heard the echo of Nick's cold laugh, and sensing a figure looming over her she gave a yelp of pain, as Damien's foot connected with her stomach. Donna went silent, her last thought was of their baby, before she succumbed to an unconsciousness that she had been battling since the first encounter in the file room.

 **To be continued...**

 **XXX**

 **Sorry for the long wait (and for another cliffhanger) I promise to update faster this time!**

 **Thank you so much for sticking with this story, I know it's far fetched, but what can I say? I love drama, and the show doesn't give us enough high stakes plots like this one! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you have any thoughts drop a review, I'd love to hear them!**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Xx**


	11. Chapter 11: Heartbeat

**Chapter 11: Heart Beat.**

 _Before she could recover, she heard the echo of Nick's cold laugh, and sensing a figure looming over her she gave a yelp of pain, as Damien's foot connected with her stomach. Donna went silent, her last thought was of their baby, before she succumbed to an unconsciousness which she had been battling since the first encounter in the file room._

The scene in Harvey's office was tense, an explosion waiting to happen.

Donna lay helpless on the floor, the henchman hovering over her.

She had risked herself, and the baby, but not without cause. All at once Harvey understood the aim of her futile escape attempt. For now, lying out of reach under his desk, was the one thing that had dictated their every move, in the commotion of Donna's struggle, the gun had been discarded.

Harvey's mind raced, as in a split second all the pieces seemed to fall into place, he knew what he had to do.

He was afraid no longer. The adrenaline which had been steadily building up in his body since he first discovered the intruders went into over drive, bursting at the seams, ready to fight. He pulled his arms apart with so much force that it snapped the cable tie, and before he knew what was happening, he scaled the coffee table, his fist connecting with Nick's chin in a harsh upper cut. All Harvey saw was blinding, blaring, red.

In a single moment, all of his pent-up rage at this man, the man who hurt Donna, who returned to disrupt their lives, take away everything they held dear. He wanted to make him suffer, to carry the weight that Donna had all those years on her own, keep the secret of her past, too frightened to share it, unable to move on. Harvey's body felt numb, his muscles working tirelessly of their own accord, throwing punches with reckless abandon, he threw Nick backwards, his body colliding with the large window, and as he slumped against the glass, Harvey could've sworn he saw small cracks appear in the large panel, stalked toward him, like an animal toward its pray, eyes dark and threatening. The utter hatred he had for this man frightened him, how far he was willing to go for revenge, it was a feeling he had never experienced before.

He flexed his fingers, curling his hands into fists, preparing for another round. When, in the reflection of the mirror, Harvey caught sight of something that brought him tumbling back down to earth, snapping him out of his rage fueled daze. He saw the outline of Damien, heading towards the elevator, with Donna, slung over his shoulder limply, her red hair hanging low, hiding her face.

"Shit." Harvey hissed, turning on his heel, as he began to make a break for the door.

Nick took his chance, lurching downwards, he aimed himself at Harvey's desk, grasping at the lonely gun.

"STOP." Hunter roared, he fired a warning shot at the door, the glass shattering, before pointing the gun at Harvey with a trembling hand, face bloodied from the assault, eyes wild with desperation.

Harvey froze, ducking as the glass shards rained around him, he turned slowly, cursing as he saw the elevator door open for Damien and Donna, her captor looked round to Nick holding the door open and beckoning him to follow. He raised his arms, as Nick rounded the office, "get out of the way" Nick spat, gesturing with the gun for him to move away from the door.

Harvey obliged begrudingly, stepping aside, pieces of crystal crunching at his feet, "Follow us, and I'll shoot her." Nick whispered, before turning his back and racing towards the elevator.

The moment the metal doors slid closed, Harvey launched himself towards reception, nearly tripping over himself as he ran, pressing the buttons down as hard as he could, he punched the wall in frustration.

Impatient and frantic, Harvey was about to run to the emergency fire stairs, but just as he turned his back he heard the ding, announcing the arrival of the elevator.

"NYPD DROP YOUR WEAPONS!" a familiar voice boomed, echoing off the marble walls of Specter Litt.

"Harvey!" Mike called, rounding the police officers, one of whom Harvey recognized to be Captain Jonathan Garett, who ordered his men to lower their weapons upon seeing him, Mike rushed over, followed by a flustered looking Rachel, "Harvey what happened- we saw the Benjamin accessed the CCTV footage we- where's Donna?"

Harvey could only shake his head, "Hunter – took her – car park – I have to go-"

And with that he took off, hurling towards the stairs, bursting through the fire door, taking the steps five at a time, he could hear the footfalls as the crowd followed him, shouts for him to stop, wait – but he couldn't, with every second that passed his chances of saving Donna diminished tenfold, he wouldn't stop – couldn't stop until he was holding her in his arms again, feeling her hear beat.

By the time he reached the basement floor, the others had caught up behind him, Captain Garett raised a hand to silence his complaint as he stepped in front, gesturing for them to be quiet, Mike grabbed at his arm, pleading with him silently to hang back and let the police handle it, but he shrugged him off, Harvey spoke in a hushed tone, "call an ambulance, Donna's hurt and she's-" he choked on the word pregnant, saying it made his heart ache, if the baby had been hurt, he'd never forgive himself.

"Already done." Mike replied with a soft nod.

Harvey made a promise to Donna, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her, ever. He had broken that promise, and it tore him apart from the inside out, but he'd be damned if he would ever stop trying to protect her, even if it meant risking himself, which she had done, not only tonight, but countless other times in the history of their relationship.

As they approached the doors leading to the dimly lit carpark they heard muffled voices, speaking in urgent tones. Harvey breathed a sigh of relief, he'd feared they might have escaped before they made it. He watched as the captain gave silent signals to his co-workers, giving them orders through sign language.

In a flash, the squad burst through the fire door, Harvey following close behind, the sounds of the officer's shouting roared in a deafening blur in his ears, his tired eyes searched the dull grey of the car park, scanning frantically for a flash of golden red, "Donna!" he called, the desperate sound reverberated off the hollow walls of the basement, the echo barely registering with him as he moved among the madness, ignoring the commotion as the police tackled the two offenders to the ground. Instead, he focused on the lone black car parked a few paces away, the back door slightly ajar, he could sense her presence, that magnetic pull beckoning him towards her, hoping and praying that no further harm had been done to her, that despite everything, she was, in fact, okay.

He grasped the door handle, pulling it back quickly, he let out a gust of breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Slumped on the leather black seat, still unconscious, was Donna.

A small cry fell from Harvey's lips, the sound came from deep within him, an odd mixture of joy and despair. He sank to his knees, his head resting in her lap has he took a moment to compose himself, as an overwhelming feeling of relief bubbled up inside him, he moved his forehead so that it brushed the barely-there bump of her stomach, a small smile playing on his lips. Carefully moving her forward, he freed her from the wire that restrained her hands behind her back, tracing a finger over the skin of her wrist, rubbed raw in her struggle, it looked painful. He removed his suit jacket, swiftly placing it over her shoulders, enveloping her cold and clammy skin. As gently as he could, he scooped her up in his arms, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead as he pulled her close, he could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his, a small comfort to him as he led her away from the scene, back to safety.

To his surprise, she began to stir in his arms, squirming slightly, resisting his hold on her, her face screwed up, a strained expression graced her beautiful features as she began to come through, her breathing became more labored.

"l-let go-"she whispered, placing a trembling hand to his chest, in a weak effort to push him away, his heart sank as he realized what was wrong, she believed him to be one of her captors, "s-stop-"she choked, her eyes beginning to flutter.

"Hey," he soothed, out of the corner of his eye he saw Mike and Rachel, speaking to a small group of paramedics, "Don, you're ok now, I've got you."

Her eyes opened slowly, she blinked a couple of times, a single tear slipping down her cheek, finally her gaze focused on him, his soft chestnut eyes filled with concern, met hers, the panic drained from her face instantly, her body relaxed, molding into his touch once again.

"Harv-?" she breathed, bringing a shaking hand to his face, caressing the angles of his jaw, as if she were checking he was real.

"I'm here." He gave a small laugh.

With the little energy she had left, she reached up, hooking an arm around his neck and pulling his lips down to meet hers, they sank to the ground, Harvey cradling Donna in a protective embrace as their mouths met, so glad to be in each other's arms once more.

After a moment, Donna pulled back ever so slightly, her hands cupped his face still, "I was so scared," she admitted.

"I know, I was too, but it's ok now you're safe-"

"No- I wasn't just frightened for me," she explained, "I was afraid of losing you, I was scared for you and for-" she hesitated, placing a hand on her stomach, her eyes cast down as if she were ashamed, "I'm sorry, I should have told you, I only found out, I planned to tell you tonight.. I'm so sorry-"

"Shh," he hushed, placing his own hand over hers, his thumb tracing slowly over the tiny curve of her stomach, "I'm so happy."

She smiled, their foreheads coming to rest together, she could feel the adrenaline rush of seeing him beginning to wear off, her body began to feel the toll of the night's ordeal, she shifted uncomfortably, feeling suddenly light headed again, "Harvey, I don't feel so good-" she rasped, her head throbbed, every muscle seemed to scream in protest, she closed her eyes tightly, breathing through the pain.

"Hey!" Harvey called to the paramedics, gesturing for them urgently, he looked down, noticing that Donna had once again closed her eyes, "stay with me Don, where does it hurt?" he asked gently, as two women in blue approached, checking her over, muttering to each other in medical jargon that made little sense to the pair, Harvey kept his hand clutched in hers.

"My head and neck," she gulped, petrified to utter the next words, "m-my stomach," she gasped, biting her lip, "m' sleepy…'

"Donna please, look at me," he pleaded, but he could see she was fading, fighting a losing battle with exhaustion.

"St-ay w… with me." She mumbled, before a breathing mask was placed over her mouth, and the world around her blurred to black.

XXX

 _Beep, beep, beep…_

 _Her body ached._

"she should have woken up hours ago –"

 _Beep, beep, beep…_

 _Every breath felt like a chore._

"Harvey, she's going to be fine, you heard the Doctors –"

 _Beep, beep, beep…_

 _Someone was holding her hand._

"I'm just worried – Donna!"

She gasped as her eyes flickered open, the blinding white brightness of the room confusing her further, she squeezed the hand wrapped in her own, as she breathed heavily, eyes wide as her vision adjusted, darting around the room, searching for the source of the familiar voice, something she recognized in this unfamiliar environment.

Suddenly, it all began to come back to her, the party, the dancing, her altercation with Nick, losing the firm. The rush of memories was over whelming, so much to take in, her mind still groggy as it tried to process the whirlwind of events and emotions. In response, her throat seemed to tighten, making it harder to breathe, it almost felt as if Nick's hands where wrapped around her neck again, the memory alone send her into a staggering frenzy of panic. She knew she was safe, she knew she was being irrational, but for some reason her body couldn't register reality.

"Donna, what's wrong?" Harvey's face appeared above hers, his forehead lined with concern, he looked terrified, it only frightened her more.

"Can't – b-breathe-" she wheezed, shallow breaths coming at pitiful intervals.

She felt him place her hand on his chest, right above his heart, "you're ok, can you feel that?" she his heart thumping beneath his skin, the sensation seemed to ignite her finger tips as his chest rose and fell slowly, "try to copy how I breathe."

She struggled to follow his instructions, slightly comforted by the feeling of his steady heart-beat, but not enough to recover her. Through blurred vision, due to the stinging tears that welled up in her eyes, she saw a woman fussing over her, "she's in shock," the lady explained, placing a plastic mask over her mouth, she helped Donna sit forward, checking her pulse as she went, "you need to slow right down…"

The ventilator helped, a lot, as gusts of air were pumped into her body, opening her air ways. Harvey's free hand went to her back, rubbing soothing circles as he shushed her, relieved as, after a few moments, he felt her back rising and falling at a much calmer rate, slowly but surely returning to normal, "that's it," he encouraged, "you're almost there."

She crumbled, curling herself into his body, soft sobs erupted from low in her chest, she wasn't quite sure why she was crying; pain? Sadness? Happiness? Relief? But she didn't care, all she knew was that it felt good.

Wrapped up in his arms, safe, finally, she could let the walls fall, the act of courage and bravery she had hid behind all evening, at last could cease. She didn't have to pretend with him, he shared her fear, her hurt, and every other emotion that coursed through her veins, it was like they were the same person, bound together by a force they did not understand, and knew better than to question.

He was crying too, his quiet cries were muffled as he buried his head in her hair, breathing in scent, holding on tight as though he were afraid she would slip through his fingers, leaving him alone. But she was there, she was real, she was his.

After what seemed like an eternity in a few stolen moments, the pair leaned backed, Harvey helping Donna to adjust in her hospital bed, supporting her neck as she lay back against the array of pillows.

"Feeling better?' he questioned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

She nodded, breathing in a deep steadying inhale as she settled, her body still aching but her mind at ease.

With a jolt of anxiety, she remembered, "Harvey?" she hesitated, glancing over at the nurse, "is the baby…?"

"The baby is fine," the nurse reassured her.

Donna breathed a sigh of relief, smiling happily, as her hand came to rest over her stomach, "what a little trooper." She whispered.

"A fighter like its mother." Harvey commented, placing his hand over hers.

"Stubborn like its father." She quipped.

"Would you like to have a scan?" the nurse asked, smiling kindly at the pair.

"Please!" Donna replied, overcome with excitement.

"I'll have someone set up a room for you." The nurse answered, "I just need to check you over, shouldn't take more than a few minutes." She explained, Donna nodded her consent, adjusting herself, with Harvey's help, into a more upright position.

He watched her face, the way she held her breath as the nurse examined her wrists, and the bruises on her arms, how her jaw clenched as she applied a dressing to the sinister markings on her neck. He could see the images flash across her mind, dancing behind her glassy eyes, he gave her hand an affectionate squeeze, placing their linked hands back over her stomach, noticing how her expression seemed to morph, from haunted to wistful in a matter of seconds, her imagination whisked away to the future, and before she knew it, the nurse was finished, leaving them with the promise of returning in a while for their scan.

Alone at last.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, her eyes cast to the far corner of the room.

"Donna."

"No, Harvey, I have to say it, this was supposed to be your – big night, I wanted it to be perfect – and well, its ruined, and it's more or less my fault – "

"Donna," his voice more commanding this time, "none of this is your fault, you don't deserve any of this, I'm the one that should be apologizing, I couldn't protect you-"

"Hey," she met his eyes this time, "I'm here aren't I? and besides, its hard to protect someone who's trying just as hard to protect you."

He laughed sadly, "we're a disaster"

"Maybe," she scooted over in the bed, patting the space beside her, he climbed up, draping an arm around her, as she snuggled into his chest, he placed a kiss on her forehead, "but I wouldn't have it any other way."

They sat in silence for a few moments, taking it all in.

Harvey spoke, "I've been thinking-"

"Oh no, that's never good…" she teased, earning a mock laugh from her boyfriend.

"I think you'll like this particular thought."

"I'm intrigued."

"I want us to buy one of those old fashioned town houses on the upper east side, I've been thinking about it for a long time, and now with little trooper on the way, it just seems like a sign. It could be our own project, start from scratch, make it our home.."

"Harvey," she gasped, eyes sparkling, "I can't think of anything I'd like more."

"Good." He smiled, sitting back slightly to face her, their noses brushing in an Eskimo kiss.

"Good." she breathed.

Half an hour later, the pair sat in the darkened room, eyes glowing as they watched the screen, "there's your baby." The nurse pointed to the small peanut sized shape on the screen, Donna beamed, turning to watch Harvey's reaction, his cheeks glistened with tears of joy.

"And here," the nurse continued, "is the heart beat."

The room filled with the sound of a rhythmic thumping, sounding slightly distorted as if it were coming from under water. Both Donna and Harvey's hearts soared at the sound.

"I've never heard anything so beautiful." Donna breathed, goosebumps covering her skin.

"It's amazing."

They sat in silence for a while longer, lulled into serenity by the melody of their creation, the events of that night were lost on them, all they could see was the future, and they knew that together, their own little family, everything was going to be okay.

 **XXX**

 **Hi again! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, this story is nearly st its end, only a couple more chapters left to wrap it up!**

 **Pleaseee leave a review and let me know your thoughts, I love to read them.**

 **As always, thanks for reading xx**

 **-Jess**


	12. Chapter 12: four years later

**_This is the final chapter for this story. I hope you all enjoy! X_**

Chapter 12

 ** _Four years later..._**

Darkness.

That's all she sees.

Distant murmurs tease her, echoing, barely there, untraceable..

"Mm-"

She feels heavy, pinned down, something weighing down on her chest, her lungs weak.

"Mm…ma"

Panic.

Fear.

All consuming.

"Momma?"

She gasps, waking with a start, her eyes take a moment to adjust to the dim brightness of the room, thin streams of light peeking from behind the curtains seem to assault her, disorientated by the sudden change, her eyes blurred with tears, a crushing weight still pressing on her chest, heightening her shock.

A familiar feeling, though one she hasn't felt in quite some time, the sensation of being pulled from the depths of deep water, gasping for air and confused as you're reacquainted with the real world.

Her vision begins to clear as she feels someone squeeze her hand, she blinks away the moisture, and immediately she feels relief flush her veins. Her bloodshot eyes land on soft brown, almond shaped eyes, long blonde eyelashes that brush her freckle dusted cheeks as she blinks, her little hands clasping around one of the red head's, her head tilted to the side in a mixture of curiousity and concern, her blondish-red curls tangled and messy, looking down on her from where she is perched on Donna's lower chest.

"Emmie." She sighs, raising her free hand to her daughter's face, stroking her soft skin, forcing a smile, although the fear still lingers.

"I scared you mommy?" The four-year-old asks, her lips drawn together in a pout.

"No, darling-"

"Emilia!" Before Donna can begin to explain, she hears Harvey's voice, as he re-enters the bedroom, a tray, stacked high with pancakes, two mugs of coffee, and sippy cup of milk in hand, "I thought I told you not to wake your mother."

He approaches, feigning disappointment as he places the breakfast tray on the bedside table, scooping the little girl into his arms, raising his eyebrow with a grimace, "what am I going to do with you, little rascal."

"M' sorry daddy." She mumbles, snuggling her face into the crook of his neck, and Harvey's frown dissolves, replaced by a small smile, Emilia always knew how to charm her way out of trouble, but her eyes wander back to her mother, who was still breathing rather strangely, her young mind working hard to figure out what might be wrong.

Emilia had inherited that Paulsen quality to sense when something is wrong, she pouts again, her eyes wide and worried "Momma's sad.."

"No Emmie," Donna sits slowly, trying to disguise the slight shake in her movements, as she reaches out for the little girl's hand "I'm ok, mommy just had a bad dream, nothing to worry about sweetie." She assures her, leaning over to place a kiss on her daughter's forehead, earning a bright smile from Emilia, "Did you sleep well sunshine?"

The littlest Specter nods eagerly, twirling a finger through her curls absentmindedly as she eyes up the pancake stack.

Donna's gaze wanders to her husband's, she sees concern flicker behind his eyes as he frowns, noticing how her face seemed pale, her cheeks not flushed with that usual morning tint of pink he'd grown so fond of, her demeanour weak, it was a look he'd seen before, but, thankfully, not for many years.

"Emmie," Harvey returns his attention to the child, "you remember the plan?" He whispers, just loud enough, making sure that Donna hears what they're up to.

"Uh huh." Emilia nods, her face lighting up with excitement.

"That's my girl," he winks, planting a kiss on her cheek, "you know what to do, munchkin."

With that, she hops down from the bed, and scurries out of the room, nearly tripping over her little feet with excitement, beaming, all too happy to help her father, rushing off to play her part in their carefully laid out plan. In the blink of an eye, she's disappearing into the hall way, a giggle echoing in the from behind the door.

As soon as they're alone, Donna flops back down, a defeated sigh falling from her lips, she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to centre her thoughts, stop her mind from wandering back to the past. She can feel herself spiralling, something she hadn't experienced in almost three years.

"Hey," Harvey whispers, taking her hand in his, knowing what she needs, recalling the old routine, "come on, you're ok," he places a hand behind her back, feeling her spine tremble as she breathes, "you need to sit up, it'll help," with his hand resting on her back, she sits slowly, leaning forward until her head is buried in between her knees, "that's it, deep breaths."

He feels her shudder under his touch, and he rubs soothing patterns along her spine, trying to relieve the stress, ground her in the present moment, "you're here, with me, that's all over," he assures her, "we're safe. All three of us."

Donna nods, covering her face with her hands. A small whimper escaping her lips as she resists the urge to cry, swallowing the lump in her throat, knowing that if she starts she won't stop and the last thing she wants is for Emmie to see her like this.

She stirs, leaning back into his touch, allowing him to envelope her in his arms as they rest back against the headboard, "I'm sorry, thank you." She whispers, keeping her eyes shut tight, breathing in the scent of him, focusing on the warmth of his body, distracting herself from the memories that threaten to resurface.

"You don't need to thank me, and you definitely don't need to be sorry." He pulls her closers, placing a kiss on the crown of her head, "what happened?" He asks gently.

"It was-"she hesitates, "it was like before, back when I was pregnant with Emmie, it felt like I was trapped, I couldn't see anything, I couldn't breathe, I just felt scared but I didn't know why." She sniffles, recalling the anxiety she had suffered, following the events of that anniversary party, it had taken her months to move past the trauma, not to mention the old scars which had been torn open again upon seeing her tormentor.

Harvey sighs, his jaw tensing, knowing she won't like what he's about to say, "I'm going to make you an appointment with Dr Lipshitz."

"Harvey I told you I don't want-"

"I'm sorry Donna," he replies, "I know. I know it's hard, but you and I both know that if you don't deal with this soon it's never going away. I just want you to be happy."

She remains silent, thinking back to that time, after their ordeal, how she had refused therapy, insisting it wasn't necessary. When deep down she knew it was fear that fuelled her refusal, she had always found therapists far to intimidating.

But before she can argue again, her mind is drawn back to the look of worry that had graced her baby's face only moments ago, and her heart sinks at the image it paints. It had been easier to refuse help when she was pregnant, and once Emmie was born the anxiety seemed to evaporate, disappearing almost completely. She hadn't had time to think about it, far too consumed with love and awe of her new baby girl.

But she knew, deep down that it wasn't even remotely tackled, but rather, lying in wait. She couldn't avoid it anymore, for the sake of her family, for the sake of herself, she would have to relent, or nothing would ever change.

"Okay." She breathes, snuggling further into his side as the fear begins to dull, the memories becoming less and less vivid by the second.

Emilia's melodic voice interrupts them, "I'm back!" she squeals, bustling into the bedroom, carrying a large bouquet of pink peonies and white roses, almost matching her own height as she carefully makes her way towards the king-sized bed, her big round eyes peering over the abundance of flowers.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!" she sings, allowing her dad to lift her back onto the bed, placing the gift on the bed.

"Oh, wow Emmie!" Donna beams, pulling the little girl into her lap and cradling her close to her chest, immediately calmed by her embrace, "Thank you so much, did you pick these out all by yourself?" She asks, placing a kiss on the crown of her curly head.

"Daddy helped me." She admits, looking back up at her mother with adoration, her little hands coming to rest on each side of her face, cupping her cheeks as she narrows her eyes, scrutinizing the red-head's face, and Donna can almost see the wheels in her brain turning.

"You feel better now Momma?" she questions, her eyes full of wonder.

"Yes, of course, how could I not?" Donna replies, pressing on the tiny button nose with her forefinger, "When I've got a little angel like you, how could I ever be sad."

Emilia giggles, a warm sound that brightens the room, "Daddy," she turns to Harvey, her eyebrows furrowed, "Give Mommy her pancakes!" she orders, shaking her head in annoyance as her father chuckles, "you only had one job!"

"Okay boss," he answers, as Donna grins, Harvey surely got more than he bargained for, now he has two witty redheads to appease. She accepts the excessive stack of pancakes gratefully, smiling her thanks at her husband.

Out of the corner of her eye she spots her daughter eyeing the food, mouth surely watering.

"I think I might need some help eating all of this," Donna muses, "any volunteers?"

"Me!" Emilia shrieks playfully, scooting in between her parents, Harvey's arm looping around both of his girls protectively.

"I could lend a hand?" he remarks with a smirk, earning a smug eye roll from Donna.

"I'm surrounded by greedy Specters." She mocks.

"You can include yourself in there as well," he retaliates, "and count yourself lucky, Mrs Specter."

"Oh, believe me," she smiles, her eyes travelling from her daughter to her husband, both sporting identical Cheshire cat grins, "I do."

It occurs to her in that very moment, that the past can't hurt her anymore. Sitting here, nestled close to the two most important people in her world, she feels safe. A sort of invincibility that they charge her veins with. She knows that she'd do anything for this little girl, her baby, their baby. And that indescribable courage seems to resonate with her.

 _I am brave_.

Though she may be burdened by the pain of the past, the bad memories pale in comparison to the good.

The many day's they had spent redecorating their new home, how he had proposed to her on their first visit, the only piece of furniture which resided in the building being an antique grand piano, refurbished to its former glory.

How they had spent an afternoon, late into her pregnancy, paint the walls of the nursery together, discussing names, stopping every time the baby kicked and wriggled inside her to appreciate the wondrous feeling.

His hand in hers as she battled through labour, the sensation as the skin of her chest came into contact with the bare flesh of their new born baby girl, crying so loudly, but relaxing to a soft coo as her parents spoke to her, big brown eyes taking in their faces, as they welcomed her into the world.

Their wedding day.

How they had waited until Emilia was almost three, wanting her to be a part of the big day. The baby girl dressed in a white dress that almost replicated Donna's, toddling down the aisle, just ahead of her mother, scattering pink petals as she went with a smile.

The look on Harvey's face as both of his girls entered the church, looking radiant, the sun and stars of his life.

How they had danced, the three of them together, Emmie perched in the embrace of both her parents, watching them with awe as they swayed back and forth to the music, completely caught up in their own little bubble, one where only the three of them exsisted.

These were the memories worth holding onto.

And with the notion that there were many more like them to come, she at last, began to feel as though she could truly let go of the trauma. Replaced only by the overwhelming love for her beautiful, growing, family.

 **XXX**

 **Thank you all for sticking with this story to the end. I know it took me sometime to update this fic so I'm glad you had the patience for my procrastination!**

 **Much love,**

 **Jess x**


End file.
